While we are waiting in vain for “THE AUTHORITIES” to do something about voter fraud, I thought I’d pass the time making fun of idiots. Fortunately, there are plenty to choose from.
Of course, my favorite idiot to smack is North Miami Beach Councilcritter Frantz Pierre. He’s always good for a laugh as we all know.
But an even bigger riot are the tree hugging idiots who are hell bent on “saving Greynolds Park” from sure destruction because of a proposed ten story multi-use development to be constructed within the city limits of North Miami Beach but outside Greynolds Park. Specifically, it’s to be built on West Dixie Highway outside the south entrance to the park where a nursing home used to sit. The few of these crackpots who actually live in North Miami Beach are the same ones who complain that services, especially police, are being cut. For some reason they can’t get it through their thick skulls that city services are paid for by revenue from taxes. Maybe if I break it down to this simple formula they’ll get it:
New Development = New Taxes.
No New Development = No New Taxes.
No New Taxes = No Services.
DUH!
The idiots have even started a petition on change.org, asking people to write to the “North Miami Beach Government” to “Save Greynolds Park.”
While I have no reason to think their intentions are anything but good (the paved road to hell comes to mind), their lunacy shines through from the proposed letter posted on the website, to the beyond moronic comments made by some of the readers.
For starters, the letter claims, “The tall towers will be built almost touching Greynolds Park and will overlook the Lagoon, Boat House, Oleta River and most portions of Greynolds Park.”
Um, really??? Not even close!
The proposed development will absolutely NOT “overlook” the “Boat House” as you can see by the following evidence, a/k/a “reality,” I submit for your viewing pleasure.
Here is a satellite view of Greynolds Park:
Here is the satellite view of the Greynolds Park Boathouse:
Here is the satellite view of the proposed development:
Here is the satellite view of the proposed development in relation to the boathouse:
Judging from these actual satellite photos, as opposed to make believe, it appears that the proposed development is not even in the remote vicinity of the boathouse. Which, by the way, houses absolutely zero boats due to the fact that years ago people stopped visiting and renting boats. And so, the boathouse sits. Unoccupied. So much for the theory that a proposed development … any development … will destroy the “thriving” paddleboat business, which is nothing more than a distant memory. Moving right along…
Now, let’s look at the satellite view of pure hypocrisy.
The leader of the charge to “Save Greynolds Park” is one batty lawyer by the name of Charles Baron. You may recall we had a sparring match back in March when I called him out on his nuttiness and he threatened to sue me because he didn’t like my opinion.
Well, as I pointed out, the seven story building in which Charles Baron resides, OUTSIDE NORTH MIAMI BEACH, is called Greynolds Park Condominium. FYI, it’s called GREYNOLDS PARK CONDOMINIUM because it’s located RIGHT NEXT TO GREYNOLDS PARK! Well, jeez Louise, how ’bout that?
Here is a satellite view of Charles Baron’s Condominium:
Now, here’s the satellite view of CHARLES BARON’S SEVEN STORY CONDOMINIUM in relation to the boat house:
As you can clearly see, a proposed ten story (and NOT fifteen, as the rumors claim) development outside the extreme southeast corner of the park, not only does NOT “overlook” the boathouse, but if any building does “overlook” the boathouse, it would be CHARLES BARON’S SEVEN STORY CONDOMINIUM.
The petition also claims that the proposed development will “overlook” BOTH the “lagoon” and the “Oleta River.” The “lagoon” is that larger, elongated body of water just southeast of the boathouse. To the right of that is the extension of the Oleta River that flows from Maule Lake. I could be wrong, but it sure seems to me that the “lagoon” is in close proximity to CHARLES BARON’S SEVEN STORY CONDOMINIUM. Furthermore, CHARLES BARON’S SEVEN STORY CONDOMINIUM was built right alongside the Oleta River. If anything “overlooks” the Oleta River it’s CHARLES BARON! Let’s zoom in for a closer look:
Sorry, but the proposed development isn’t anywhere near the lagoon OR the Oleta River. If anything does “overlook” BOTH the “lagoon” and the “Oleta River” it would be CHARLES BARON’S SEVEN STORY CONDOMINIUM! Where were the protestors when mangroves were being uprooted so that Baron’s condominium could be built? Certainly that was detrimental to the environment! ENOUGH OF THE HYPOCRISY!
Even more ridiculous is that the online petition’s letter states, “These towers will be constructed on the same block as peoples’ existing single-family residential homes.” Um, yeah … but so are the three condominium buildings located just to the west of the property where the proposed development is to be built. RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE BETWEEN THE PROPOSED DEVELOPMENT AND THOSE “EXISTING SINGLE-FAMILY HOMES!” See for yourself:
I can practically hear those condominium buildings saying, “What are we? Chopped liver?”
Now for the fun stuff! Some of the nutty comments posted on the petition’s website are nothing short of hysterical. You should check it out for yourselves; however, I thought I’d point out some of the “highlights” in order to tickle your funny bone.
Alvin Lederer, who says he lives in Leesburg, Florida, wrote:
my name is Alvin Lederer and i’m a South Florida Historian. I grew up in North Miami & North Miami Beach and saw the landscape changed to where I can hardly recognize the area. Greynolds Park is an area that was set aside by for other’s to enjoy the beauty of South Florida. Joe Moffet was my friend and Mayor of North Miami Beach and passed an ordnance when he was in office that no building in North Miami Beach could be over 3 stories high. He couldn’t be bribed because he was a self made millionaire and he did what was best for his town and put his Communities best interest ahead of his own. I can assure you that this topic would of never made it past his desk. it is because of the shady deals made by our local politicians today that we’re in this spot. what price do we put on our future tomorrow.
My inner English teacher wants to red pencil his atrocious grammar and spelling, but I will refrain due to time and space constraints here. Suffice it to say that I firmly believe the omissions of capital letters and misuse of apostrophes should be crimes punishable by twenty five to life. However, what is interesting, aside from the fact that he’s an idiot of course, is that for someone who claims to be a “South Florida Historian,” he lives about as far from South Florida as one can without veering off into the panhandle toward Alabama.
Personally, I don’t give a crap that he USED TO live in North Miami and North Miami Beach. What I do care is that if he felt our community was so near and dear to his heart, why the hell did he leave? He doesn’t give a crap enough to call NMB home, so as far as I’m concerned, he has no say in the “future tomorrow” of OUR city. Oh, Alvin, by the way, “tomorrow” IS the “future.”
Idiot.
One Jacob Sachs of New Smyrna Beach, Florida (another escapee?), wrote: “I was the night watchman and ran the paddleboat concession at Greynolds Park in 1973. Don’t trash another haven for all of God’s creatures. Marjorie Stoneham Douglas would be rolling in her grave.”
News Flash Jacob: The paddle boat concession went out of business probably around the time you took off for greener pastures. Also, not sure who “Marjorie Stoneham Douglas” is, but if you’re referring to Marjory Stoneman Douglas, conjuring up her ghost is not only a cheap shot, but further proves your idiocy. Now go enjoy your life in New Smyrna Beach and leave the ghetto to us.
More out of towners weighed in on how WE NORTH MIAMI BEACH RESIDENTS should run OUR city:
Donna Hall of Ten Mile, TENNESSEE, wrote: “Grew up there, happy times!”
Such happy times! She couldn’t wait to bail!
April Roberts of Douglasville, GEORGIA, wrote: “Because I was born and raised there.”
Yet, she is raising her family in another state!
Lynda Tiersma of Sunderland, MASSACHUSETTS, wrote: “I LOVE THIS PARK.. DON”T CHANGE THE VIEW OR ZONING”
I wonder if she can see Greynolds Park from her house?
One of my favorite comments was from Terry Quirk of Anchorage, ALASKA, who wrote: “Rezoning should not come at the expense of, or infringe on, set-aside parklands. Greynolds Park should remain in its simple beauty as it was intended, not exchanged for someone’s personal gain.”
Alaska? Maybe, like Sarah Palin, Terry can see Russia from his house. But, I’m sure it’s a safe bet that he can’t see Greynolds Park.
By far the person who wins Idiot of the Year is Mark Curran of MIRAMAR, Florida (yeah, there is definitely something in the water in MIRAMAR!), who wrote an essay that is not to be believed, and simply must be posted in its entirety to be able to grasp the full frontal stupidity he exudes. Here it is, unedited:
Our personal friend Beth Witherington~Smith a resident of Eastern Shores first told us of this insidious rumor believing that the entire park was intended to be closed for monitary gain by a greedy few. I called the park immediately and was informed that it’s in fact the former nursing home that’s been abandoned for several years near to where we and our children swing out on a rope over the Oleta River at the south end of the park. I was in tears as I tried to speak with the park ranger believing that the park was no more and expressed my feelings that it should be protected on the national registry of historical places since it’s inception and dedication back in the late 1920’s to prohibit developers from turning it into more of the overcrowded, overtrafficed monstrosity that Aventura has become! I’m glad to know that this parcel is zoned in North Miami rather than Aventura since they don’t seem to have as much monetary clout in powerbroker decision making. My company has catered events for North Miami Mayor Kevin Burns and have always believed him to be one of the good guys who couldn’t be bought! I firmly believe that he would not want picketers outside of each of the park’s entrances and throughout North Miami including the courthouse with signs reading please save Greynolds park while Mayor Kevin,… “Burns” down our precious historical heritage!! While the ranger assured me that she believed that the park is already protected and on the national registry, she didn’t divulge that the plan was to override the former or current three story construction limit and build another unsightly 5 to 10 story tower that would forever change the ambience of the park in general. It’s bad enough that they’ve destroyed the rookery with it’s former abundance of nesting water birds including Egrets, Ibis’ and the rare sighting of a Scarlet Ibis that I vividly remember since my early days of visiting the park as a child regularly from 1966. I still find it appalling that they would choose without vote of the people they claim to represent to remove the few and natural resident florida alligators who protected the voracious racoons and other naturally controlled predators of these beautiful nesting bird’s precious eggs forcing them from the park and forever change the ecological balance of nature all the while standing on their proverbial soapboxes of faux concerns for being “green” environmentalists!! Oh the Unmigated Audacity that a power trip in office can bring!!! I remain heartbroken at that chain of events and misguided efforts on their part and find it extremely hard to forgive!! It’s so like the destructive decimation of the precious Everglades which despite Marjory Stoneman Douglas’ efforts will never return to it’s former glory!!I personally appeal from the bottom of my heart to anyone who remains steadfastly concerned about our park and may be able to block this continued effort by Mr. Kevin Burns and his entourage to view the almighty dollar of more value than our true American beliefs that we hold near and dear to our hearts, survival as a community and our significant well being! As their actions are abundantly clear this is only the beginning of complete ruination at a cost that is certainly not worth the devastating loss to North Miamians and the South Florida community as a whole. I deeply hope you’ll reconsider your intentions and actions…..It’s just not worth it to destroy such a precious landmark with such historical significance!!With respect but strong intent of purpose!!
YIKES! WTF IS HE SMOKING? He’s either on some really good drugs, or he needs to be. I can’t figure out which. Either way, it doesn’t matter since he hasn’t quite figured out that North Miami and North Miami Beach are two different cities. Drugs or no drugs, he really needs to take a number and wait in the STFU line.
For starters the rezoning of the proposed development is not “at the expense of,” nor will it “infringe on” any “set-aside parklands.” IT IS OUTSIDE THE PARK, not inside. As I’ve proven by the above satellite images, CHARLES BARON’S SEVEN STORY CONDOMINIUM is closer to every single area of the park, including and especially the beloved boathouse, than the proposed development.
Second of all, contrary to the many rumors started by the idiots and swirling around the internet, GREYNOLDS PARK IS NOT CLOSING!
I know this is a difficult concept for idiots to grasp, but sending that silly letter to “The North Miami Beach Government” is just laughable. The City of North Miami Beach has ABSOLUTELY NO CLAIM ON GREYNOLDS PARK. It cannot change the zoning INSIDE the park. It cannot tear down the empty boathouse or close the entrances. “THE NORTH MIAMI BEACH GOVERNMENT” CANNOT CLOSE THE PARK!
Those idiots who are ranting that Greynolds Park will be closed forever remind me of the lunatics who signed a petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide in the Penn and Teller video without even first asking what it was. Um, it’s water. Helloooooo! Wake up, dumbasses! By the same token, if a handful of nuts say NMB will close Greynolds Park, their fellow crackpots will take it as the gospel truth. The fact that they are DEAD WRONG doesn’t even faze them. They end up believing their own hype.
Lastly, the proposed project will be built on land on which a foundation has already been laid. Therefore, tree huggers. NO MANGROVES WILL BE HARMED! (OMG, did I even have to say that?)
Of course, my dispelling the ridiculous rumors will do absolutely nothing to get the idiots to understand the concept of reality. I can only point out their folly and LMAO.
So many idiots, so little time.
Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”
It is absolutely astonishing how many people think they know what they are writing about. You have provided the clearest information possible with the great visuals of the proposed location. This makes it crystal clear where the building site is and is not. What is the matter with people that they are so unbelievably stupid? And that’s being polite.
As I read about all of these “activists” making predictions of doom and gloom as a result of a building outside the park, I felt they are all missing the most important part: The park itself. How come all these friends and defenders of Greynolds Park are all up in arms about what may or may not happen outside the park, yet say nothing about what is currently happening inside the park? From the terrible littering by park users, to the decaying mangrove boardwalk, to people constantly bringing dogs into the park (and I don’t mean the dog park in East Greynolds), to illegal fishing from the various small bridges, the most basic rules of this park are being ignored on a daily basis and the park is paying the price; and don’t let me get started on the feral cats decimating the wildlife. I could go on and on about how this park is slowly coming undone from the inside out, yet all of these armchair heroes can do is sign a petition (?) If these caring park lovers want to see real “destruction” they should have witnessed when the tower on top of the hill was covered in red graffiti a few months back. Did they photograph it and send it to the Police Department to check if it was a known gang? Did they even notice? Do any of these so called “friends” walk around the park with a garbage bag picking up litter trapped in the mangroves every week like I do? How many of them call the park-watch phone number to report dogs, or fishing or jumping the fence to avoid paying the park fee on weekends? How many of them have trapped a feral cat and had it neutered? How many of them have requested permission to plant trees, at their own cost, around the perimeter of the golf course? While I don’t want to speak for or against this development, I do want to speak for the park and its need for more action and less petitions. Activists are supposed to act.
That nut from Miramar needs to take a remedial English class; an absolutely unintelligible screed.
I live in unincorporated dade within a mile of the park. The park is also in unincorporated dade as I understand.
It’s a bit of a logical stretch to suggest that a building on the North side of the park could have as much affect on light availability as one on the South side, as we are in the northern hemisphere. The length of shadows affecting the park will necessarily be greater in a structure on the south side of the park, longest when the sun is lower in the celestial plane.
I cannot speak for the construction of Mr. Baron’s building but surely his living there can’t be held against him if it was built before he moved in. The existence of this building is non-unique to the construction of Greynolds park. People already live/own units there and it will not be deconstructed. Hypocritical would be if the building HAS an ongoing adverse affect on the park and them ignoring it.
The possible reduction of light access in the park is something that should be addressed by an astronomer of mathematician, and such an impact is not comparable to the three story buildings adjacent to the park. If you go to the park you can see for yourself that they do not impede the direct access of sunlight.
If the buildings would affect the access of sunlight to the park, even a portion, this would be a very strong reason to second guess construction of such a structure because the park, being older than the building, has a right of way.
i also have not seen any address of the traffic that development in this area would induce. If your big argument is $$$. surely changing the economic ambiance of this area would encourage further, larger scale developments in the area along west dixie highway, between 163 and Miami Gardens Dr. Last I checked (a little earlier today) this is a one lane street, and traffic can get gnarly at either end of the stretch.
A study funded by the developer is not sufficient to accept that West Dixie highway can handle the traffic. But if this first 3 buildings do not have a significant impact, how about the next 3? Surely this project is not a one off, after all we need the money!
Putting financial concerns ahead of other considerations, such as quality of life and access to “nature” are also relevant and should be considered.
The question then, on whether this development will adversely impact the parks seems of the utmost importance, and does not seem to have been addressed properly be either side of the argument, but surely the burden of proof is on the one hoping to turn a profit.
Where’s the environmental impact study?
Can anyone get an astronomer to figure out this simple problem?
i admit i did not proof-read my comment before posting.
It is absolutely hilarious how this Mark Curran charges against Kevin Burns. He not only shows his ignorance about the difference between North Miami and North Miami Beach, he also ignores that unfortunately Mr. Burns is NOT mayor of North Miami. Maybe he just woke up from a five year coma?
Talk about ignorant douche!
And he has the courage to write his name next to all that display of ignorance!
I pay taxes to the City of North Miami Beach. I shop, dine and worship and always have. I didn’t agree when the council capped buildings at 3 stories because it was as short sighted then as it is now. While we sit huddled in our mushroom village, neighboring cities like Sunny Isles and Aventura have flourished. North Miami Beach still reflects the iconic architectural era of the 1960s and 70s. The truth is that most of our history was torn down long ago to make way for strip malls by the parents of the same people who want to dictate the growth of MY city. I’m sorry, but It is time for them to STFU. The spawn of the men (mostly) who did this to our beautiful city have died or moved to New Smyrna Beach. The City of NMB doesn’t have jurisdiction over Greynolds Park so if you want to come down here and straighten it up, feel free. Oh yeah, about environmental impact studies, that worked out well for Colorado Springs where, because they are not allowed to clear out the dried tinder, 2 people died and 500 houses burned to the ground.
I used to live in the apartments that were just west of Greynolds Manor. Anyone thinking a 10 story condo on that plot of land is a great idea is a retard. First off, the property overlooks West Dixie Highway. The streets flood there, not only that, but it is across the street from the FEC RR tracks that are still very active in the middle of the night. I know because I heard them every night every 3 hours as the freight trains horns, the signal crossing and the locomotives & their cars would wake you in the middle of the night. Add that Maule Lake Marina is being developed with condos. As the full moon tides and coastal flooding become more and more frequent, how long will it be before Greynolds Park turns into SoBe for intracoastal flooding.
I moved Feb 2014, hurricanes weren’t the issue living there, it was every flash rain storm that filled the Arbors apartments parking lots with upper shin to knee deep water for a day. Developers aren’t going to tell condo buyers this fact,even if they are aware of it themselves. I moved to Country Walk in SW Miami Dade. In 2 short years, they were doing the same down there and guess what ? Every storm that went thru the streets of Country Walk and Kendall flooded. Gridlock ensued with the development there. From 6:15 AM to 9 AM every morning, traffic backed up for 1/4 mile just to leave the neighborhood. So I sold that place and moved out of South Florida altogether. CW was nice, 35-45 minutes from Key Largo, an hour to Islamorada, but developers are ruining the Redlands in that area. And that area was flattened as ground zero for Hurricane Andrew in 1992. Saw photos of my condo unit that was rebuilt as a 1994 build. Amazing that the only structure still standing on my sq ftage foundation was the toilet after Andrew.
You do realize you arrived at the party really late, right? That’s cool. Thank you for sharing anyway.
I know I’m late to this party, but I came across the researching the Greynolds rookery and I wanted to tell you how spot on you are. The biggest mistake this group made from the get-go was to call themselves “Save Greynolds Park.” This meant day after day of fielding phone calls from people thinking Greynolds was going to be destroyed. One of the comments you posted highlights this. Besides Charles Baron, who I would usually avoid, this “committee” rarely visited the park but expected free shelter rentals for meetings and a booth at the Love-in every year. My favorite was when I caught them pinning “Save Greynolds” fliers to our trees. I always thought, and I’m pretty sure I told them this, “Well, if you REALLY want to help the park, why don’t we set up some volunteer days?” Crickets. As you could already guess, I used to work there. The Boathouse did reopen for rentals after renovations in 2008 and then was shutdown again two years later once the recession hit. The park does not have the staffing or budget it needs to properly maintain it. The daily challenges of keeping the place at least somewhat in shape were only ever exacerbated by this group’s demands. Their whole platform is built on a lie. At least their shirts were pretty cool.