Yvenoline Dargenson, I told you that you were my bitch.  I told you I was your biggest nightmare.  I warned you, honey.  But you didn’t listen.

I told you that when you run for public office, your secrets will be aired and the skeletons will rattle their way out of your closet.  I warned you, honey.  But you didn’t listen.

Well, you just got a very public whooping in a very public courtroom, and every single lie that oozed out of your pretty little mouth has now become a very public record.

You can’t say you weren’t warned.

And I just can’t seem to get this shit eating grin off my face.

Miami Herald reporter Paradise Afshar Tweeted your humiliation to the World Wide Web all day long.  She also just published the fruits of her labor online in North Miami Beach runoff election may be in judge’s hands.

Your dufus of a lawyer, Frank Wolland gave it his best shot when he tried to use your “driver’s licence and voter’s registration” as “proof” that you live in North Miami Beach, but unlike your husband, he shot blanks.

Superstar Lawyer Joseph S. Geller, on the other hand, hit pay dirt when he discovered that your car registrations, health insurance, life insurance, and bank records all show your 9620 Boulder Street, MIRAMAR, Florida as your home address.  He also brilliantly exposed where you mostly shop and buy gas (Hint, Twisted Sister: MIRAMAR).  After his evidence was presented, it was a no-brainer that you ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY DO NOT LIVE IN NORTH MIAMI BEACH!

You should have known better than to try to lie to Judge Darrin Gayles.  Did you think he was stupid?  If so, you really underestimated him!

Did you really think for one minute he believed that you dumped your three minor daughters in MIRAMAR to be raised by your philandering husband, who has already proven that he’ll never win Parent of the Year Award by having to be sued by not one, but two, baby mamas for paternity and child support?

Did you really think you could sweet talk your way out of your deception by claiming that you never spent one night under the same roof as your five year old daughter since the day she was born?

Did you really think for one nanosecond that any self-respecting woman who finds out her husband knocked up his mistress would actually leave her home and her children instead of kicking the bum out and changing the locks?

Did you even think at all what your concocted story makes YOU look like?

Assuming any of this nonsense were even remotely true, it makes you look like a VERY BAD MOTHER.  And, not a terribly smart woman at that.

Just like your gigolo husband, you may not be a contender for Parent of the Year, but you are most definitely a VERY BAD LIAR.

I heard Judge Gayles dished out much deserved tongue lashing before he ruled on the motion.

I can’t say I’m sorry, sweetie.  The judge wasn’t fooled and neither were the rest of us.

Did you really think WE were stupid?  If so, you gravely underestimated us!

Luckily for me, I have eyes and ears practically everywhere there is city business.  Not only did the reporter Tweet her heart out, bless her soul, but my phone started ringing off the hook the minute the hearing was over.  Cheers went up all the way from Downtown Miami to NMB!  It was a beautiful thing.

But here’s the clincher, honey.  I’m not quite sure if you even understand that you have been devastatingly humiliated.  Judges do whatever they can to avoid influencing elections, which is why I believe Judge Gayles decided to rule on the entire case after tomorrow’s election.  By allowing the race to continue, and then deciding what to do, he’s giving you more than enough rope to hang yourself.  Figuratively speaking, of course.  All of which beg the questions:

Are you so audacious that you’ll continue with your farce of a campaign knowing full well that you’ve been outed as a fraud?

Are you not embarrassed enough that everyone in the world now knows that your husband can’t keep it in his pants?

Are you not humiliated that you have been publicly exposed as a liar?

Do you really have no shame whatsoever?

Considering you pal around with the likes of Frantz Pierre, I guess you really are shameless.

Thanks to the intelligence and determination of Councilwoman Beth Spiegel, with today’s ruling, she has been vindicated.

The voters of North Miami Beach have been vindicated.

I have been vindicated.

And you, my dear, are still my bitch.

Now more than ever.  WOOT!

NMB VOTERS, GET TO THE POLLS TOMORROW AND PLEASE VOTE RESPONSIBLY!

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”