It hasn’t been a very good week for North Miami Police Department’s Assistant Chief Larry Juriga.

For starters, the as yet unpublished results of my October 31st NMPD Unofficial Survey are thus far less than flattering for this wannabe Police Chief.  (Stay tuned.)

On November 1st, Miami New Times’ reporter Jessica Lipscomb published an even less flattering article about Juriga’s infamous “redneck” discrimination complaint.

Of course, we here at VotersOpinion just had to  follow up her article with our own usual snarky commentary.

But just when Larry though it was safe to go back in the water – figuratively speaking, of course – the Miami New Times once again reminded North Miami residents how tough white people have it in today’s society.

Especially a high ranking, and very white, Assistant Chief of Police.

Someone please get out the tissues.  We got us a real tearjerker.

As only he could so aptly – and hilariously – put it, in his November 5, 2017 article, A Running List of Miamians Who’ve Complained About Anti-White or Anti-Male “Discrimination,”  reporter Jerry Ianelli wrote:

Poor, poor white people. After centuries of subjugating people of color, exterminating indigenous Americans, and brutalizing millions of black slaves, whites are having a really hard time being part of the national ruling class. Others sometimes make fun of your bad dancing! Jokes about Spanish-language television go over your head! Sometimes your coffee takes a little too long!

Claiming “anti-white” discrimination is silly. (Same goes for “anti-male” bias.) But it’s especially silly in Miami, where much of the population is Latino and has exactly zero tolerance for bigoted white folks. Still, that hasn’t stopped a whole bunch of dummies from claiming that “anti-white” or “anti-male” bias is ruining their lives.

Number One on his list of South Florida whiners is white Hialeah police officer Louis Herrera, who sued his department for discrimination because he’s a man.

I know, right?

Officer Herrera has the sads because he’s been denied a promotion to sergeant not once, but twice, “despite scoring well on the required exam.”

The fact that 86% of all sergeants in the Hialeah Police Department (or 42 out of 49, to be exact) are men only proves that Louis Herrera was most likely rejected for some other reason than his Y chromosome.

But hey, Officer Herrera.  Brownie points for trying.

Oh, and, pass the tissues, please!

Number Three on the list is Daniele Hoffman, a white Miami nurse at Nicklaus Children’s Hospital, who filed a federal lawsuit because she was called a “gringa” and “skinny white girl” by her colleagues, who “insisted on speaking Spanish around her.”

A word of unsolicited advice, Daniele.  The painful truth is that not all of us can be Latinas.

Personally speaking, I’ve spent my entire life bemoaning the fact that, although I am nearly fluent in Spanish, no matter how fervently I wished I were Hispanic como mi hijo cubano,  I am, always have been, and always will be a gringa.

However, I have to admit that being a “skinny white girl” was never a problem.

But, hey, we all have our thresholds of pain.  Who am I to judge?

Then again, none of us gringas  have ever had the “pleasure” of being forced to flee a communist country in the middle of the night como los abuelos de mi hijo,  leaving all our worldly goods behind, only to come to America and work our fingers to the bone as maids and janitors regardless of the fact that in Cuba we were doctors.

But, hey, Nurse Daniele!  You certainly deserve a six figure settlement for all the pain and suffering you endured by being called a gringa.

¡Pobrecita!

Let’s all grab another tissue.

Numbers Four and Five on the list are equally absurd.

An aspiring white teacher claimed discrimination for being required to teach an hour of Spanish in a Miami-Dade Public School program that requires “a one-hour Spanish component per day.”

Sounds legit.

Then there was the now-internationally infamous white dude who claimed “anti-white discrimination” at a Starbucks, of all places, because he waited too long for his latte.

Then again, his reaction – screaming “Trump” at a black employee – didn’t exactly win him any support among bystanders, who filmed his temper tantrum for posterity.

Way to go, Ace!

Spotlighted in the Number Two position among these five losers is none other than the pride of North Miami …

Your Assistant Chief of Police, Larry Juriga.

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, no?

Yeah, pass me some more of those tissues.

Told ya it was a tearjerker.

Stephanie