The deadline for the qualifying period to run for City Council in North Miami Beach came and went with no drama.

Unless you count the last five minutes before noon when the Spork Weasel of NMB walked up to the Clerk’s window to announce that he was switching seats.

City Clerk Pamela Latimore told Frantz Pierre that she’d accept his paperwork if he had it all completed and turned in before the clock struck twelve.  He frantically started filling out the documents but, alas, too little, too late.

At exactly twelve o’clock p.m. Daylight Savings Time, the North Miami Beach campaign season officially began!

Despite L’il Frantzie P’s dramatic and guffaw-inducing gesture, (and despite the frantic attempts of a certain wannabe lobbyist who shall remain fittingly anonymous), Mayor George Vallejo will be running unopposed.

Councilwoman Marlen Martell is being challenged by the Frantzie plant du jour, Paule Villard.  Yeah, I’ll have fun with that.

Both Frantzie and Phyllis Smith are in desperate panic mode to keep their seats on the dais.

Team Irony notes that when these two douchenozzles ran for office in 2007, their aim was to unseat two of the then sitting council members they deemed to be part of the Good Old Boy network of elected officials.

Eight years later and counting, Frantzie and Phyllis are attempting to add four more years to their already overstayed welcome.  They have, in essence, become that Good Old Boy network they sought to oust.

Frantzie’s opponent is Ketley Joachim.  This time, hopefully, The P Man will refrain from filing a bogus police report in order to obtain a bogus restraining order against her in a transparently blatant attempt to keep her out of the race.

Because Frantzie is desperate to do whatever it takes, including lie, cheat and steal, in order to keep his seat.

Warning to NMB voters:  WATCH YOUR ABSENTEE BALLOTS!

They have a tendency to disappear whenever Frantzie is in the vicinity.

Just saying.

Phyllis has drawn two opponents, Michael Joseph and Bruce Lamberto.*

UPDATE:  Margie Love, a long time NMB resident and former council candidate, is also running in this race.  My sincere apologies for neglecting to also name her as a contender!

Both are also-rans in previous elections.  Michael opposed State House Representative Barbara Watson in 2013. Bruce, an outspoken community activist, ran an unsuccessful city council campaign for Group 5 in 2005.

Both All three of them would like nothing better than having the opportunity to stifle Phyllis.

Good luck with that, fellas lady and gentlemen.  May the best man candidate finally SPTFU!

Alrighty then.  Let the games begin!

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”