Even though I’m slowly getting used to the peace and quite of Davie, every once in a while I start missing life in North Miami Beach.

Well, except for maybe the sound of gunfire.

I have yet to attend a Town Council meeting in Davie, but I’m betting that there’s no Phyllis here, either.

Watching the recent NMB budget meeting gently reminded me that Councilwoman Smith is definitely one of a kind.

Now, I know I’ve been trying to go easy on Phyllis.  She really has made an effort to think first before opening her mouth.

Until now.

I really haven’t had any reason to poke fun at her.

Until now.

I’m not sure if the recent exposé of Phyllis’ Montana License Plate scandal has made her a bissel meshugah, but at hour 1:23:57, she started out with one of her famously disjointed ramblings, and ended up totally unhinged.  She opened by saying, “The thing I learned that is so imperative is when you are running the ship, you have to have confidence in the people that are working the ship.”

I immediately cringed, had an oy vey face palm moment, and thought, “Oh, Phyllis!  Stop!  You’ve been so good for so long.  So coherent.  So … normal!  Don’t do this!  Zip it NOW!”

But, it was too late.  The damage was done.  Once Phyllis let her guard down, she truly couldn’t help herself.

By the time she blurted out – not once, but twice, “Do not not take care of the people that are doing the work on the street,” I knew Phyllis had lost it.

At hour 1:27:30, she had a complete meltdown for a full minute, crying about “my kids in Washington Park,” and that the bathrooms needed fixing.

Phyllis was in such rare form (not to mention election mode), I couldn’t help but feel a little homesick for Crazy Town.

In order to alleviate that condition, I immediately went to the fridge, made myself a bowl of espresso ice cream topped with a scoop of Tahitian vanilla bean gelato, and logged on to Pinterest for distraction.

Sugar therapy worked.

Although, I did feel a bit of remorse for picking on Phyllis.

Then I came across a fabulous recipe for an Apology Cake, and I just knew I had to bake it for her.

Unfortunately, that train of thought made me all nostalgic again for the good old days.

I started missing all my NMB peeps.

Even the ones I didn’t like all that much.

Soon enough, though, missing North Miami Beach started feeling a lot like missing the mid-1980s.

Oh, those mullets were so freaking attractive, right?

After taking a virtual walk down that memory lane, I quickly came to my senses.

I told myself that my decision to move to Davie was a good thing.

I also reminded myself that after years of wanting to escape NMB, my search was finally over.

And in case I ever again forget where I came from, I hung this sign on my fridge.

Because, well, you know how it is with us sometimes.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”