If it weren’t for former Commissioner Bryan Cooper, who sponsored a Resolution to stop development in North Miami Beach, the Village of Biscayne Park (that little postage stamp of a town sandwiched in between North Miami and Places I Don’t Care About South of the NM/NMB Border) wouldn’t have even been a blip on my radar.  Even that brazen act of lunacy didn’t warrant more than a throwaway blog or two until we snatched City Manager Ana Garcia for ourselves from its ungrateful clutches.  Yeah, their loss.

All of a sudden, Biscayne Park has finally succeeded in making headlines with some recent, positively electrifying stories.  In fact, the Village has gotten more ink in the last week than it probably has since its incorporation in 1931, when the City of Miami cut its losses during the Great Depression and left the tiny Village to fend for itself, eventually enabling it to boast “the highest millage rate in all of Miami-Dade County.”

The first bizarre report broke last Saturday in Biscayne Park village leaders mum over absent police brass.  It seems that the “three highest-ranking officers” of their eleven member police department were suspended for unknown reasons.  Absolutely no one at Village Hall would talk to the press about “the sudden disappearance without explanation of Biscayne Park’s top three officers.”

We know now that at least one of those officers won’t be reporting for duty since the Herald followed up that story with Amid mystery, Biscayne Park police chief resigns.  The reasons for the suspension of all three, and ultimate resignation of the top cop, are still not forthcoming.

While we’ve all been waiting on the edge of our seats for the nail-biting conclusion to that story, along came another suspenseful tale from the No Speed Zone.

At its April 1st meeting, the Biscayne Park Commission ignored the elephant in the room since discussion of the suspended police officers was verboten.  Garbage, however, was a hot topic.

Like every other municipality in South Florida these days, Biscayne Park elected officials are trying to cut the costs of services in order to balance its budget.  At the last Commission meeting, the subject of privatizing its sanitation department was on the table.  As the Miami Herald reported in Biscayne Park postpones decision on outsourcing trash collection, the Commission voted to “explore other options in light of the rising costs” of keeping it in-house.

(Psst!  How’s that millage rate working out for you now?)

The vote tally was four to one in favor of “exploring,” with Vice Mayor Barbara Watts voting against it as she does pretty much everything else.

Yeah, the excitement level at Village Hall is even higher than the Village speed limit!  I can hardly contain myself.

In any event, the Village of Biscayne Park has once again gotten my attention, however short-lived.

No need to thank me.  The pleasure was all mine.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”