Election time in North Miami Beach and North Miami is always entertaining. The 2013 campaign season proved to be more bizarre than most. Since this year’s biennial sign kickoff included a zombie, it’s only fitting to start this column off with a tribute to the Zombies’ Time of the Season.
Unfortunately, it was not the Time of the Season for Loving in our fair cities! From April 1, 2013 through North Miami’s runoff election on June 4, 2013, I posted over a hundred blogs about both cities’ elections. Little wonder I was exhausted! This was such a high stakes election for two neighboring cities where both were so infiltrated by the Circle of Corruption and carpetbaggers from Miramar, that even Jesus AND the Devil were compelled to intervene.
Little surprise that “unity” was the battle cry implored by some of the most racially divisive candidates ever seen in an election, while family values and racism were also hot topics during the 2013 election season. As usual, North Miami Beach Councilcritter Frantz Pierre was behind the scenes pulling those strings in the form of two council candidates, Yvenoline Dargenson and her cousin, Jean D. Berrouet. Both got bitch slapped at the polls on election day, thereby sharply decreasing Frantzie’s relevancy factor, if that were even possible. Hey, Frantzie! Here’s a name tag for ya:
The 2013 election season spawned not one, but two lawsuits over candidate residency. In North Miami Beach, Councilwoman Beth Spiegel led the charge by challenging her opponent, Yvenoline Dargenson’s claim that she was an actual resident of NMB. She filed a lawsuit before the election and was eventually vindicated at the polls, the results of which Judge Darrin Gayle ordered to be certified. In North Miami, candidate Kevin Burns filed a lawsuit after the runoff election claiming that winner Lucie Tondreau did not fulfill the residency requirement to run for Mayor. Apparently it was too little, too late because after a two month battle, Judge Jorge Cueto dismissed the case, a decision that prompted Burns to file an appeal with the Third District Court of Appeals. The Court heard the matter on October 23, 2013, which was broadcast by the Miami Herald’s Nadge Green via Twitter. A decision has not yet been handed down by the Court, but at this point it does not appear that Lucie Tondreau will be losing her seat any time soon, if ever.
Candidates in North Miami did their best to amp up the crazy. Anna L. Pierre made Voodoo and Sugar Cookies prevalent themes in her bid for Mayor. Jean Marcellus, stepped down from his council seat to vie for a spot at the head of the dais, only to be cold cocked at his “campaign headquarters” by an acquaintance while they were “catching up on old times.” Council candidate Mary C. Irvin threw in a Chicken Dance for good measure.
The 2013 election season ended with a whimper in North Miami Beach as the new Council quietly resumed its regular business in June. But in North Miami, Andre Pierre did not relinquish his mayoral seat quietly. Or easily. In fact, the gavel had to be pried from his tightly clenched fist, finger by finger. Although he officially “stepped down” on the first of June, it wasn’t until his successor’s swearing in on June 11, 2013 when he was finally forced to hand over the crown. But not before his parting gift in the form of a narcissistic Farewell Message that would have made Napoleon Bonaparte proud.
It’s just as well I don’t write fiction because, folks, I could not make this stuff up even if I wanted to.
Once the elections were over, things in North Miami quieted down somewhat (relatively speaking, of course), but in North Miami Beach the proverbial poop began hitting the fan with pension problems and titty bar wars on the horizon.
More fun to come, but you’ll just have to wait until the next installment of The Year in Review.
Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”
