At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I’m going to discuss an item that’s come up on the Agenda for next Tuesday’s North Miami Beach City Council meeting.

Again.

I’m pretty sure no one on that dais gives a flying rat’s ass what I think, but I’m gonna take this opportunity to make my case one more time.

As I brought up (Yes, driving by, here’s that “I, I, I” again just to irritate you!) in Upping the “sleaze” factor in NMB, North Miami Beach’s newest strip club, Black Diamonds, is coming back to ask permission to stay open until 6:00 AM.

I have no idea how the Council is planning to vote on this issue, but let me make a suggestion:

How about “NO?”

Let me reiterate that despite the fact that SMG Entertainment, Inc. filed the Fictitious Name of “Black Diamonds” with the Secretary of State, it is NOT the owner OR the operator of the business known as Black Diamonds.  In fact, SMG does not own or operate a strip club business at that location.  SMG is merely the LESSEE of the building located at 17450 Biscayne Boulevard, North Miami Beach, Florida, and it is in the business of SUBLEASING the premises to businesses that DO own and operate strip clubs.

For a fee of $50.00, any Tom, Dick or Harry can fill out an Online Fictitious Name Registration with the Secretary of State.  Once filed, which takes all of like thirty seconds, to be able to Do Business As (DBA) any name whatsoever.

For example, if I so desired, I could file a Fictitious Name Registration to do business as “Myron’s Worst Nightmare.”

Hypothetically, of course.

Three interesting things should be noted about Fictitious Names.

For starters, as noted by sunbiz.org according to Florida State Statute 865.09, entitled Fictitious name registration, “Registration under the Fictitious Name Act is for public notice only and gives rise to no presumption of the registrant’s rights to own or use the name registered nor does it affect trademark, service mark, or corporate name rights previously acquired by others in the same or similar name. Registration under this section does not reserve a fictitious name against future use.”

Sunbiz.org also notes the following:  “DISCLAIMER-IMPORTANT INFORMATION: The registration of a Fictitious Name does not satisfy the Workers Comp Exemption requirements. To meet the Workers Comp exemption requirements, Articles of Incorporation or Articles of Organization for a Limited Liability Company must be filed.”

And finally, another directive mentioned by sunbiz.org is “If a change of ownership occurs, the owner(s) of record must file a cancellation and re-registration within 30 days of the change.”

As noted by FS 865.09, SMG Entertainment didn’t have to provide any proof whatsoever that it was actually doing business as Black Diamonds or that it even has a right to that name.  The State of Florida does not even presume this to be the case when someone files a Fictitious Name Registration.  The State merely allows a person or an entity to transact business using whatever name it wants to call itself.

Even “Myron’s Worst Nightmare.”  (Yeah, it’s growing on me.)

An even bigger issue, in my opinion, is the disclaimer that a person or entity using a Fictitious Name cannot be exempt from Workers Compensation coverage.  Only Florida Corporations or Limited Liability Companies can apply for this exemption.

Using another hypothetical, if one of the strippers at Black Diamonds were to, let’s just say, fall off a pole for example, (and judging by this picture posted in Facebook, that’s not a farfetched scenario) would she apply to SMG Entertainment for Workers Comp benefits?  Or would she go directly to the owner of the business, Queen of Dyamonds, Inc. to reimburse her for her medical claims and expenses?

I’m guessing the latter.

Lastly, SMG pulled this Fictitious Name card with the previous strip club business known as Swinging Richards, which left NMB unceremoniously last August.  Accordingly, SMG can no longer claim to be Doing Business As “Swinging Richards.”  Presumably, there was “a change of ownership,” and as such, SMG should have filed “a cancelation and re-registration within 30 days of the change.”  According to sunbiz.org, that registration is still active, thus proving (to me, anyway) that SMG has a problem complying with the Florida Statutes.

What a shock.

The fact that SMG Entertainment, Inc. claims to be Doing Business As “Black Diamonds” means it enriched the Florida Secretary of State’s coffers by a whopping fifty bucks for the purpose of scamming the City of North Miami Beach into renewing its Business Tax Receipt for another year.

And yet, as I mentioned in my earlier column, this scam is perfectly legit under our city’s current BTR laws.

A shout out to former City Attorney Howard Lenard for that loophole is in order:

THANKS, HOWARD!

What all this is leading up to, in case you were wondering, is that I will state again for the record that in my opinion, SMG Entertainment is NOT the owner or operator of the business known as “Black Diamonds.”  I agree with Councilwoman Beth Spiegel that Black Diamonds is a NEW BUSINESS in North Miami Beach.  She was absolutely correct in “drawing a line in the sand” that Black Diamonds should not be automatically granted extended business hours under the PRETENSE that SMG is the “same owner” as the previous strip club.  The only thing SMG “owns” is a leasehold interest in the property located at 17450 Biscayne Boulevard, North Miami Beach.  SMG’s relationship with Black Diamonds is that of Lessee/Sublessee.  It has no ownership interest in the business known as Black Diamonds.

The strip club Black Diamonds should first be required to prove itself to be a good neighbor before it starts requesting the same privileges that are granted to other North Miami Beach businesses.

In other words, when SMG Entertainment (or rather, its lawyer Ben Kuehne) comes before the Council on Tuesday night to ask for extended business hours, the North Miami Beach City Council should JUST SAY “NO!”

It really is that easy.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”