A conversation I had yesterday with a friend about social media in general, and Twitter in particular, got me thinking about how fast our world has changed in only the last twenty years.  When I told my friend that Twitter is the new Facebook, and that if one wanted to be up on the news, whether local or national, Twitter is the only way to go.  My friend scoffed and exclaimed, “Seriously, Steph.  How many people our age actually use Twitter?”  I had to laugh and told him that people way older than us (yes, there are a few) not only use Twitter, but are just as technologically savvy as the average teenager.

In what has become some sort of reverse snobbery, many folks of “my generation” actually take pride in the fact that they never use social media, turning their noses up at the mere thought of “friending” or “tweeting.”  They remind me of the stereotypical grampa, rocking in his front porch chair, telling anyone who would listen, “In my day, we didn’t need indoor plumbing.  We got along just fine without it.”

Sure, we don’t NEED indoor plumbing.  Or, for that matter, refrigerators, stoves, washers or dryers.  But they sure make life easier, huh?  I’m sure we didn’t need light bulbs, either.  And why the heck did we need motor cars when our horse drawn carriages were perfectly acceptable forms of transportation?  You don’t hear anyone complaining about all those “newfangled” innovations today, do you?  And, yet, far too many folks in my generation disdainfully pooh-pooh technology as a fad, much like the pet rock, not worthy of their attention.  I call them dinosaurs.

Those of us who were wary of computers in the first place found it almost impossible to believe the hype that they would change our entire lives.  Most of us considered personal computers as useful office tools, but saw little value in them other than as a replacement for white out.  Secretaries like me started out slowly with the introduction of word processors, but were eventually dragged kicking and screaming into the computer age.  I, for one, am thrilled I finally succumbed to the pressure. 

I am not ashamed to admit that twenty six years ago when I returned from maternity leave with my second child to find a fax machine in my office, and literally jumped up and screamed, “WHAT THE F**K IS THAT THING GET IT OUT OF MY OFFICE!” when it started ringing and beeping right next to my desk.

I’m also not ashamed to admit that, twenty six years later, I am an avid technology junkie.  I simply cannot even begin to imagine my life today without my computer.  Or my iPhone.  Or the iPad Air that I just ordered and should receive any freaking day now.  My connection to the outside world is no longer a luxury, but a necessity.  Food is optional.  The internet is mandatory.  Touch my iPhone and your fingers will need splints.

Garry Kasparov, the world famous Russian chessmaster, recently tweeted:

He couldn’t have been more on the money.  The Apple brand has become the cult-like symbol that millions of people around the world have come to recognize, and pretty much worship.  The opening of a brand new Apple Store can draw thousands of people.  When there’s even a hint of a new Apple product getting ready to launch, iAddicts start jonesing for their fix.  I’d even venture to say that when a new iPhone comes out, there are more people waiting in line than filling pews in churches in any given Sunday.  Apple is not only the new religion, but it’s the new drug.  Not surprisingly, Garry Kasparov is also famous for his quote:

By its very nature, technology itself has created an entire generation that demands instant gratification.  Today’s computer users would be aghast at the glacial speed with which it took to load a webpage back in the early nineties when I reluctantly ventured into the virtual world of the information superhighway.  My very first experience with the internet was America Online, or AOL.  It took forever to load up, but when I got online and started emailing and Instant Messaging, an entire world of communication opened up to me.  I was instantly hooked, and much like the old days when I waited for the television set to warm up, I never minded the interminable waiting for websites to appear.  I’d click a link and go brew a cup of coffee in anticipation for the next new thing to investigate.

AOL was also famous for its celebrity chat rooms, where fans could enter, ask questions of, and read the words of wisdom that their favorite entertainers would type right before their very eyes.  Visitors to these chat rooms were also able to connect with each other.  AOL users felt like we were on the cusp of a new era and it was an exciting time to be alive.  Need I tell you how thrilling it was when Dwight Yoakam was the featured artist of a chat?  I planned my entire day around that event!  In fact, I met one of my closest friends in that Dwight Yoakam chat room almost twenty years ago.  We’ve remained in touch ever since through email, Facebook, and even actual real life when I visited her in Nashville a few years back.  Starting with the then rudimentary AOL, the internet changed my life for the better.

My twenty six year old son is a certified Apple-phile.  (Yes, he’s the one I gave birth to, along with my first fax machine, in the same year.)  Like every other member of Generation Y, Jacob started out with a simple iPod and soon graduated to the iPhone, iMac, iPad, and every other Apple product under the sun.  I call him iJacob.  Thanks to him, several years ago I jumped on the iPhone bandwagon.  Previously content with my little flip phone, which was useful for merely making phone calls and the occasional text message, Jacob insisted that I absolutely, positively NEEDED an iPhone.  After putting him off for nearly a year, I finally gave in after he upgraded his and gave me his old one.  (FYI, “old” is relative in the World of Apple.  This year’s model will soon be yesterday’s headlines.)

Once I finally got the hang of the iPhone, I was hooked.  You cannot imagine the moment of panic I feel when I frantically fumble through all the crap in my purse and cannot immediately touch the hard, smooth rectangle that rules my existence.  I practically hyperventilate at the mere thought that I might have [GASP!] lost it!  (I don’t know for certain but I’m pretty sure this is what withdrawal symptoms feel like for drug addicts who are detoxing.  I feel their pain.)  My life stands still until, with an audible sigh of relief, I reach out and touch it.  As long as I know my iPhone is within my grasp, all is well with the world.  How crazy is that?  Yep, it’s crazy.  I admit it.  Thanks, Jacob.  If there isn’t a website called damnyouijacob.com, I will start one in your honor.

While I anxiously await the arrival of my newest “toy,” the iPad Air, I will pry my cold, dead fingers off this keyboard while I’m still barely breathing.  The shower of my indoor plumbing awaits.  Even though I love my computer (all my friends are in it), there’s a whole world out there for me to take on today.

But, rest assured I’ll have my iPhone with me just in case.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”