In a comment on my recent column, Misplaced Priorities: Throwing teachers and cops under the bus, reader-slash-lawyer-slash-rocket scientist Gerald claimed, “Most employee efficiency tops out after 10 years and the additional experience gained is negligible. In fact there are studies that have been done that show ten year employees have the ideal average of experience, physical fitness, and common sense and goes downhill from that point as the employee ages.”
That statement is so freaking ridiculous on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin to rebut it. But I’ll try.
As offensive as I find his comment in the first place, I’m even more insulted that Gerald actually thinks I’d back down from an argument merely because a “study” has been done about the topic.
Really, Gerald? A STUDY? ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?
In addition to the Shrimp on a Treadmill study I mentioned in my response to Gerald in the comment section, I decided to list a few other “research studies” that were so useful to mankind it’s a bloody miracle we’ve even survived without them.
For starters, did you know that Traumatic Brain Injury Frequently Leads to Headache? I couldn’t have said it any snarkier than Time Magazine’s Jeffrey Kluger, who wrote, “This, of course, came as a surprise to all those scientists who previously believed traumatic brain injury leads to pain in the knees or ankles. But nope, the head it is, according to findings announced by the National Headache Foundation. Still to come: lying down in a darkened room late at night frequently leads to sleep.”
Gotta hand it to those geniuses at the National Headache Foundation! That was money well spent, huh?
Or how about the startling conclusion reported by MomLogic.com that Drinking Alcohol Makes Young Adults Act Stupid. Talk about stating the obvious! The column reads: “New research by the Washington University School of Medicine has found a direct correlation between heavy drinking and multiple sex partners in young adults. First of all, duh. Second of all, whose kids did they survey? Someone must be proud. Get a load of me, Ma! I’m in a binge-drinking sex study!”
Yet another reason not to blow your retirement fund on your offspring’s college education.
The Telegraph in the UK published Pointless research: Top 10 Ig Nobel award winners for silly science, in which it was pointed out that the 2003 Nobel winner in the biology category determined (Children, please leave the room!) “Ducks can be homosexual necrophiliacs too.” The Telegraph’s reporter Tom Chivers noted, “One of the greatest sentences in modern science writing: “Next to the obviously dead duck, another male mallard… mounted the corpse and started to copulate, with great force.” Take that, March Of The Penguins.”
Okay, kids. You can come back in now.
Then again, as a lover of country music, I am personally concerned about the study that claims, “Suicide rates are linked to the amount of country music played on the radio,” as reported by the winner of the 2004 Nobel in Medicine. Mr. Chivers wrote, “If you knew there was something profoundly unacceptable about Billy Ray Cyrus, but you could never quite put your finger on what it was, here is your answer. The man makes people kill themselves.”
As for Miley … well, let’s not go there.
According to an article in the New York Times, apparently some studies are just plain dangerous. In Useless Studies, Real Harm, “a 12-year-old research study of Neurontin, a seizure drug made by Pfizer” led to the deaths of eleven people and “serious adverse events” in 73 more.
No comment necessary.
In Battle of the useless studies, Geek Magazine reported, “In the wake of a Japanese study that claims that computer games can damage children’s brains, the European Leisure Software Publishers Association points to an earlier British study which shows that gaming can be as beneficial as taking part in physical sporting activity, according to ZDNet. The group says the Japanese study, which shows that gamers are not developing their front lobes–which affect behavior and the development of memory, emotions, and learning–is flawed. Instead, they say the British study, which says pretty much the exact opposite, is correct. You know, it’d be really interesting to see who funded these studies. I wonder if the University of Nintendo had anything to do with the British study … hmmmmm?”
As a recovering Super Mario Brothers addict, I’m going with the Brits. Yeah. Definitely, the Brits.
In yet another useless, and presumably costly, study, Live Science magazine reported that High Heels Lead to Foot Pain. The spectacularly obvious conclusion? “A study of 3,300 men and women found that nearly 64 percent of older women who reported hind-foot pain regularly wore high heels, pumps or sandals at some point in their lives.”
They could have saved all that time and money by asking me, “Do your feet hurt when you wear heels?” “Um, yeah.” DUH!
By far the most useful study I came across, however, was one done by Washington University scientists who determined that “most research studies are jumbled, incoherent garbage while simultaneously being inconsistent pieces of shit.” As reported by the school’s newspaper, WUnderground, “One scientist from the group, Dr. Albert Wong, was both astonished and proud of the results, since he figured nothing remotely useful would come of the study anyway.”
I beg to differ. This study was worth every penny!
So, Gerald, in response to your claim that “studies that have been done” proving that employees “go downhill” after ten years on the job, I just did my own little research study proving that you’re a total freaking moron.
As they say in country music, “That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.”
Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”
Based on my independent study it has been determined that the following statement is scientifically correct….”you go girl”
Awwww! I’m deeply touched and oddly humbled by your results.
How old is Gerald? 16? His comment sums up ageism in just a couple of lines.
In a previous column he claimed to be a lawyer. But I’m going with the results of your study.
I want experienced cops protecting me if I am confronted by a criminal. How many years has he been an attorney?
Karin, I couldn’t tell you because Gerald did not use his last name. Unlike me and you, he prefers to remain anonymous. I wonder why that is.
Gerald should buy a copy of “Outliers: The Story of Success” by Malcolm Gladwell. A best seller, it examines why some people are successful at mastering a task. He frequently refers to the “10,000 Hour Rule”..if you do something for a length of time adding up to 10,000 hours you will master it. 10,000 hours equates to 10 years. It’s a great book and the author cites many modern day examples of the Rule.
I personally think the Obama depression and his constant use of class warfare rhetoric has caused conflict between private versus public employees. To be fair, government unions sometimes do themselves no favors with regards to their conduct.
In any event, can anyone even imagine a successful private company like Apple computers having a policy that openly states that employees with more than 10 years are actively encouraged to leave and find work elsewhere because Apple subscribes to Gerald’s philosophy that their best days as an Apple employee are now behind them? Any thinking reasonable person plainly sees the absurdity in that belief.
I honestly don’t even think Gerald believes the nonsense that he is saying. I think Gerald firmly believes that police officers make too much money, he knows the senior officers salaries are the highest, therefore he is simply employing a rationalization to justify dismissing the most expensive police officers within the department. In Gerald’s mind, this is all about money and nothing to do with efficiency or professionalism. Unfortunately for the citizens of North Miami Beach, I fear that belief is shared by the mayor and more than a few council people.
With this mayor and council everything seems to be a question of dollars and cents versus professionalism, efficiency or best practice. This is a strange reality given their publicly professed admiration for the private business model and their disdain for the government model. They think private business has it right and government has it wrong, yet their ideas run counter to those of the most successful private enterprises in America.
“I personally think the Obama depression and his constant use of class warfare rhetoric has caused conflict between private versus public employees.”
“With this mayor and council everything seems to be a question of dollars and cents versus professionalism, efficiency or best practice.”
How can you begin to justify these two statements in a single comment? Seriously, the “Obama depression?” Our mayor and council could not be further away from President Obama. Your last paragraph makes their agenda clear. They are Tea Baggers, pure and simple.
You’re right. This mayor and council are the complete opposite of our president. President Obama spends money with reckless abandon and no regard for results. Meanwhile, our mayor and council is so cheap they’ll do anything to save a penny…even if it means disassembling its police department and sacrificing public safety. They are opposite sides of the same coin. Both are too extreme for my liking. Somewhere in the middle exists a happy medium.
By far the most useful study I came across, however, was one done by Washington University scientists who determined that “most research studies are jumbled, incoherent garbage while simultaneously being inconsistent pieces of shit.”
I am green with envy that I didn’t pen those words myself.
You and me both!
I’m willing to bet that there was no such study. Gerald is learning from his counterparts at city hall. They to make comments that are so far fetched that it boggles the mind. And if there was such a study I’m sure it was funded by our mayor and council. They like to pay for things further their argument like that and high priced attorney’s that tell them what they want to hear. This is the same council who got rid of a pension attorney who is one of the best in the country because he told them they were wrong and couldn’t impose pension changes without our vote. So what did they do? Hire one who told them they could. One who I’m sure is making a tremendous amount of money (Tax payer funded by the way) just to tell them what they want to hear. Instead of crying about our benefits why don’t you ask the city how much money is being spent on outside legal representation. I’m sure you’ll be shocked. A completely unnecessary waste of money. All being spent because they won’t sit down and negotiate a fair contract and fair pension reform. No they would rather waste God knows how much money than compromise. With all the openings we have the savings would be immediate but no they want to take away what’s already been earned and paid for by current employees. So please at the next council stand up and ask how much of YOUR money is being spent on outside legal fees.
This Mayor let his feelings know way before he was elected by 2,000 residents out of a city thats more than 43,000. I guess it those 41,000 that can take part of the blame for not getting involved. Anyways, although Ofc. Pons might have taken a more agressive approach during negotiations and might have been a little hot headed. It was not because Mike always displayed that type of behavior, because anyoe who worked with him for 20 years knows he was a great guy and easy to get along with. The reason he got so aggressive towards this mayor was because he saw right through him and he even predicted the outcome were in. I remember him saying that no matter what concessions we offer to avoid layoffs, he was gonna do it anyways. Seems Mike was spot on.
Sorry I forgot the horrible pay at DAVIE
Job Title: Police Officer – Certified
Closing Date/Time: Continuous
Salary: $24.85 – $39.45 Hourly
$51,687.00 – $82,057.00 Annually
Job Type: Full-Time
Location: Davie, Florida
Sorry for the length of this. Hey Gerald, study this. It’s what a progressive city does for it’s police officers. And please don’t move there. I don’t wanna hear about you committing suicide over their pay and benefits.
-PISSED OFF ADMIN wrote:
This is a little long but please read, and Mrs. Kienzle please discuss on your blog.
I wanted to thank the geniuses across the street in city hall and the politicians for their excellent cost savings idea. Let me explain it for the residents. The city attorney explained that we have officers leaving with 1000 hours of sick leave that they have and not abused accumulated for over 20 years. By not using the sick hours and saving the city money for 20 years they are able to cash out any unused leave when they retire. Typically an officer can receive a check in his last days. Let’s say the officers salary is $35 an hour. The officer can collect $35,000 at the end of his career.
I know, WOW $35,000!!!! That is ridiculous right? Well the Mayor and his minions decided to address this and only allow 300 hours of leave to be cashed out at ~retirement. This would reduce the officers pay out to $10,500. Excellent job you would say for this council to tackle this UNFUNDED LIABILITY and save $25,000 right? WRONG.
As a supervisor in this agency I can tell you the true impacts of this change and it is not the 35K their attorney and themselves tote around town that these greedy officers make.
Since the change or should I say anticipated change officers have been using their sick leave at staggering numbers. Not only because they are just tired of this bully Mayor and council or because they feel like vomiting every time they drive into work. But mostly because they do not want the city to just take their hours from them when they spent years of being good employees by not abusing this leave. GUESS WHAT? You just created an entire department of officers that are now going to abuse this leave since they cant cash them out.
You may tell yourself that at least they are not leaving with a check for 35,000 and the city saves money WRONG
Let me explain. Now that the officers are just going to burn leave at maybe once a week or twice a week this causes additional strains. If you did not realize yet the agency is understaffed and is getting smaller by the months. When someone calls in sick you will need to pay for someone to fill that spot on OVERTIME.
So instead of paying out $35 an hour in sick leave you are now also paying his/her replacement approximately $50 an hour. So for the same spot you are technically paying $85 an hour for a position that you normally would pay $35. Let’s break it down a little further. Lets say the officer leaves at retirement with 1000 hours of leave under the old system and gets paid out $35K. Under the new system the officer would leave at 300 hours and get paid out $10,500. Lets just say that officer caused overtime when he called in sick for the additional 700 hours he accumulated. That means you would have paid $35,000 OT in tax dollars for those hours plus $24,500 in sick time plus 10,500 in cash out, which brings the TOTAL $70,000. And since the Mayor and council don’t give a damn about productivity and a better running agency, I won’t even go there. I don’t expect them to understand that as they managed about a total of three people in their entire lives. BUT I DO EXPECT STAFF, THE CITY MANAGER AND ESPECIALLY THE SCUMBAG BEHIND ALL OF IT MAC SERDA TO UNDERSTAND THAT. This is a perfect example of cutting off your nose of to spite your face.
THESE ARE THE COLD HARD FACTS. SO WHEN THEY SAY THESE COPS ARE LEAVING WITH 35K I SUGGEST THE RESIDENTS SAY “YES, BUT MR. MAYOR WHAT YOU IMPLEMENTED IS COSTING THE TAX PAYERS 70K”, not including reducing efficiency and essentially eliminating a reward system for those that do not abuse sick leave”
So in summary, the old system cost 35K, no abuse of sick leave, rewards system for employees who don’t call out sick, reduces overtime, keeps the machine running and prime numbers.
New system costs about 70K, increases sick leave abuse, doesn’t make a difference whether you call in sick once or even twice a week, organization suffers as well as the residents. Not to mention the main goal which is to screw the officers. But take a good look at it, who are you really screwing?
I know the City Manager is asking for employees to make suggestions to better this place. I truly hope we can work together and you end up being the voice of reason in this place that has taken a nose dive thanks to the ill management from the past 2 years.
Madam my first suggestion is to remove MAC SERDA from this city. No officers respect him and there could be no progress with him in his position. Due yourself a huge favor and save yourself the headache. Lose him. D. Reynolds hinted at it in the imposition meeting. There is one person that is causing this that remains in his position
while all the other city managers around him get fired for HIS ideas. That person is MAC SERDA.
THIS IS FOR ALL YOU GUYS GETTING OUT OF HERE..DAVIE JUST POSTED. BESIDES THE OBVIOUS LIKE BETTER PAY, BETTER PENSION, TAKEHOME CARS, I FOUND IT VERY INTERESTING ON THEIR TAKE ON SICK LEAVE. THEY ACTUALLY REWARD PEOPLE FOR NOT CALLING OUT SICK. THEY ALSO ALLOW THE OFFICERS TO CASH OUT ANYTHING OVER 300 HOURS SICK. AGAIN RE-ENFORCING ONCE AGAIN A BENEFIT FOR NOT CALLING IN SICK. UNLIKE THE GENIUS LEADERS IN OUR CITY WHO PUNISH YOU FOR NOT USING SICK LEAVE. I AM SURE DAVIE IS HAVING A LOT OF PROBLEMS RECRUITING THE BEST APPLICANTS LOL.
OH BESIDES THE BENEFITS DAVIE APPRECIATES ITS OFFICERS, DOES NOT HAVE LUNATICS LIKE MAC SERDA RUNNING THE PD, AND THE CITY IS NOT FULL OF HOMICIDE SUBJECTS THAT YOU DEAL WITH.
I JUST WANT TO THANK THIS MAYOR AND COUNCIL ONCE AGAIN FOR THEIR LEADERSHIP, DIRECTION, AND PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS IN BRINGING THIS CITY TO THE NEXT LEVEL. ALSO FOR THE POLICES THEY ARE IMPOSING AND THE POSITIVE EFFECT ITS HAVING ON THEIR WORKFORCE
Police Employee Benefits
for Sworn Police Employees
Printer-Friendly Version
Vacation Leave:
While employees are working seven (7) twelve (12) hour workdays bi-weekly:
0-5 years =
84 hours annually
5-10 years =
126 hours annually
10 + years =
168 hours annually
While employees are working a schedule other than the seven (7) twelve (12) hour workdays bi-weekly schedule:
0-5 years =
80 hours annually
5-10 years =
120 hours annually
10 + years =
160 hours annually
Holidays
11 holidays + 3 personal days equivalent to his/her regular workday hours, after 15 years of service 5 personal days.
Maximum of two bonus holidays per year for no use of sick leave.
Sick Leave:
An employee working seven (7) twelve (12) hour workdays bi-weekly shall earn sick leave at the rate of twelve (12) hours of sick leave for each month this schedule is worked. An employee working four (4) ten (10) hour workdays weekly or working five (5) Eight (8) hour workdays weekly shall earn sick leave at the rate of ten (10) working hours of sick leave for each month this schedule is worked. Sick leave time shall begin to accrue from the first full week of employment. The maximum ceiling for this article shall be 1,040 hours of sick leave credits.
Annual sell back of accrued sick time for over 300 hours at 100% of pay.
Leave Accumulation Caps
Vacation – two times annual accrual
Sick – 1040 hours
Medical and Dental Insurance:
Medical: Employees are given a choice of 4 Medical Plans:
Town pays 100% for single coverage and 50% dependant coverage for Unitedhealthcare EPO, POS, or HSA.
United Healthcare PPO is also available. If the PPO plan is selected, the employee will be responsible for the difference in cost between the EPO and PPO plan.
Dental: Employee has choice of one of three plans:
Guardian DMO, DMO Buy-Up or PPO:
Town pays 100% for single coverage and 50% dependant coverage for the DMO plan. If DMO Buy-Up or DPO plan is selected, the employee will be responsible for the difference in cost between the DMO and DMO Buy-Up or PPO plan.
Short Term Disability:
50% of weekly salary up to $1500.00 each week for 11 weeks
Long Term Disability:
40% of earnings to a maximum of $3,333. Employee has the opportunity to increase long term disability coverage to 50% or 60% of earnings.
Life Insurance/AD&D:
$50,000. Employees may also purchase additional insurance (in increments of $10,000 up to $200,000.00) and dependent insurance.
Pension:
Employee contributes 7% of base pay and longevity
Town contributes approximately 32.80% of base pay and longevity depending on actuary report which indicates the amount required to fund the defined benefit levels and make the plan sound.
Normal retirement after 20 years of service (equal 75% of base and longevity pay)
Cost of Living adjustments on retirement benefit
Longevity:
Paid on pro-rated bi-weekly basis
Seven (7) to ten (10) years of service:
$1,500 per year
Eleven (11) years of service and over:
$2,000 per year
Tuition Reimbursement for Job Related Education:
The Town will pay regular full-time employees eighty percent (80%) of the educational expenses paid, up to a maximum of $3,500 per fiscal year for no more than two (2) courses per semester (or quarter or other term designated by the educational institution at which the courses are taken) for reimbursement of educational expenses for college courses where the course is closely related to the work being performed by the employee, and when there is a reasonable indication that the course will help the employee render better performance to the Town; provided the employee receives a grade of “C” or better for the course and other funds such as grants [Florida Resident Access Grant (FRAG) and all others], scholarships, fellowships, or GI bill funds are not available from which such educational expenses may be paid. If the course is presented on a “pass/fail” basis, the employee must receive a grade of “pass” to be eligible for reimbursement.
If not employed two (2) years after each course completion, employee must reimburse for course(s) completed when separated from Town.
Service Awards:
Full-time
Part-time
Upon completion of 5 years:
$100 cash
$50 cash
Upon completion of 10 years:
$250 cash
$125 cash
Upon completion of 15 years:
$350 cash
$175 cash
Upon completion of 20 years:
$500 cash
$250 cash
Given thereafter in increments of 5 years up to 50 years of service increase by $50.00 increments
Personally Assigned Vehicle (use allowed off duty):
Vehicle will be assigned upon successful completion of Field Training (upon discretion of the Chief)
Additional Benefits:
Special Assignment and Duty Pay
Deferred Retirement Option Plan (DROP