As I reported to you this morning, there was an armed robbery in North Miami Beach that ended in gunfire in Aventura.  Earlier news reports merely said that a chase ensued and shots were fired.

It now turns out, according to both Channel 7 and Channel 10, that the robbery victim decided to chase down the robbers who took his money and jewelry.  During the pursuit, the victim saw one of the suspects point a gun at him, so he fired back.  The suspects hit a pole and fled the scene.  One got caught and arrested, two are still on the loose.  No one was hurt.

Unless you count the victim’s man card.

Aside from the fact that robbers will be robbers, how stupid was the dude who went all Charles Bronson on them?  Plenty stupid, if you ask me.  Luckily for him, no innocent bystanders got hit by a car or shot.  This could have ended really, really badly.

I’m not sure what the law actually states, but common sense dictates that if you’re a victim of a crime and you’re lucky enough not to get hurt, your first move should be to call the police.  No matter how many cop shows you watch, police officers have way more training at going after criminals than you do.  Besides, no material possessions are worth risking bodily harm or death.  Not even your freaking Rolex!

I hereby nominate this yet-to-be-named victim for a 2013 Darwin Award.

I also respectfully request that the Academy revoke his man card.  Permanently.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”