As it turns out, something interesting did happen during yesterday’s hearing in the matter of Burns v. Tondreau after all.

Actually, make that two things.  The first was quite surprising, and the second not so much.

For starters, considering the professional reputations of two esteemed Esquires representing the respective parties, Joseph P. Klock and Benedict P. Kuehne, I was shocked to learn that there was no court reporter in attendance at the hearing.  The one thing every aspiring trial attorney fresh out of law school knows is that no conference of any significance, including and especially a court hearing, must ever, ever, ever take place without a court reporter duly recording the proceedings.  A court reporter’s transcript is an official written and certified record of every single word uttered at a hearing.  Transcripts always come in handy as evidence for future hearings, trials, appeals and, of course, blogs.  The transcript of a court reporter is just as important as a judicial order.

I was told that there was a “mis-communication” between the lawyers in that each side thought the other hired a court reporter.  As a result neither one did.  I’d say that was an epic fail on the part of both attorneys.  Even more baffling is that both lawyers decided to move forward with the hearing, apparently satisfied by the fact that all the legal beagles in the room decided that “taking notes” was a good substitute for an official transcript.  As if absolutely no one is capable of just making shit up as they go along.  Especially lawyers.  Um, okaaaay.

Which brings me to the next interesting thing that took place.  Of course, since there was no court reporter present, and thus no official transcript, you’ll just have to take my word that it happened.  Or, rather, you can take the word of my sources, who were in the court room and who also “took notes.”  Under ordinary circumstances, this tale would seem rather unbelievable.  But in this instance, we are talking about North Miami, a city where there are no rules and corruption is par for the course; therefore, nothing should surprise us.

As expected, Joseph P. Klock, Esq., announced that he was representing the Plaintiff, Kevin A. Burns.

Joseph S. Geller, Esq., appeared on behalf of former mayoral candidate, Dr. Smith Joseph, who obviously has a vested interest in this case.

An attorney who shall remain nameless (not because it’s a big secret, but because I don’t have a transcript) introduced himself as the lawyer for the Miami-Dade County Elections Department.  I’m told he acknowledged his representation, then was summarily dismissed and sent back to his cubicle to find something useful to do.

Benedict P. Kuehne announced that he was not only representing the defendant, Lucie Tondreau, but that he was also co-counsel to City Attorney Regine Monestime as lawyers for “Mayor” Lucie, the City of North Miami, City Clerk The Honorable Michael A. Etienne, Esquire, and the North Miami Canvassing Board.

Regine Monestime echoed Kuehne’s announcement.

WTF?

I’m not sure what Ben Kuehne’s or Regine Monestime’s definition of “conflict of interest” is, but it sure seems to me that what may be commonplace in the City of North Miami is typically described as illegal at best and unethical at the very least.  To a lay person, such as myself, who is not a member of the Circle of Corruption, this unholy alliance has “conflict of interest” written all over it.

In the first place, Lucie Tondreau is defending herself in this lawsuit for actions she committed as a Private Citizen and mayoral candidate BEFORE she became the “mayor.”  As such, the City Attorney has no business representing “Mayor” Tondreau in this case since the “mayor” is not a party to this lawsuit and she is not being accused of any wrongdoing in her capacity as mayor.

Not yet, anyway.  Give her time.

Neither the City Attorney nor her staff should be expending any public resources on behalf of Mayor Coco Douce in this matter.  Regine Monestime’s only role in these particular proceedings should be to defend the City of North Miami, and by extension the Clerk and the Canvassing Board, in their respective official roles as they relate to the allegations made in this lawsuit.  The bigger question, in fact, is whether or not the Plaintiff served Monestime in her capacity as legal representative of the mayor of the city.  I’m betting not.  If she wasn’t so served, Monestime definitely overstepped her bounds in court.

Even more incredulous is the fact that Monestime, who is ostensibly a hot shot litigator, took it upon herself to hire an outside co-counsel who just happens to be one of, if not THE, highest paid top criminal attorneys in South Florida to help her defend a lawsuit that by all rights she should be handling by herself.  Taxpaying citizens of North Miami should be furious.

Even if Monestime needed help defending this case, she should never have asked Lucie’s attorney to join in.  More importantly, Kuehne should have known better than to accept the invitation.

Then again, Big Ben is the very same Mr. Kuehne who received a Key to the City, courtesy of former mayor Andre Pierre at one of his many Final Goodbyes, which some people not so jokingly claim was a reward for keeping Andre out of jail during his four year term.  Perhaps he intends to do the same for Lucie, too?  Just asking.

The biggest “conflict of interest” argument, however, is the fact that there are four separate defendants in this lawsuit:  Lucie Tondreau in her capacity as a Private Citizen, Penelope Townsley in her capacity as Supervisor of the Miami-Dade County Elections Department, The Hon. Michael A. Etienne, Esquire in his capacity as City Clerk of North Miami, and the City of North Miami Canvassing Board because it certifies city elections.  With the exception of the Clerk and the Canvassing Board, both of which are necessarily represented by the city’s counsel, each of the other two defendants should have their own lawyers.

They should also pay their own attorneys’ fees.  In this case, Big Ben seems to be cleaning up by collecting fees from three of the four defendants.  On top of that appearance of impropriety, there will always be the question of whether or not Kuehne, joined by the City Attorney as “co-counsel,” were paid public money to defend a Private Citizen.

Between the “mis-communication” about the court reporter and the silly little “conflict of interest” problem, by all appearances the lawyers attending yesterday’s hearing have not proven beyond a shadow of a doubt (at least not to me) that it was anything but Amateur Hour at the Courthouse.  I hope they sharpen their skills by the time the September 9th hearing rolls around.

Meanwhile, in other news, I just happened to come across this item of interest.  While the North Miami Council is on its summer hiatus, Mayor Coco Douce has been visiting her homeland.  My spies in Haiti (Yes, Coco, I have spies in Haiti, too!) have told me that Lucie’s been busy enlisting support from the National Leadership Conference of Haitian Mayors, and visiting voodoo doctors in order to ensure a victory in this lawsuit.

Channeling Anna L. Pierre, are we?

Yep, only in North Miami.

Folks, I really can’t make this stuff up.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”