By now you probably heard that this morning’s hearing in Kevin A. Burns’ lawsuit against Lucie Tondreau, et al, ended in a no decision.  In case you haven’t, you can read the non-details in Miami Herald reporter Nadege Green’s just posted article, Judge to hear evidence in fight over North Miami mayoral election.  The hearing was scheduled so that the Plaintiff’s counsel, Joseph P. Klock, could argue the Motion for Summary Judgment he filed on August 1, 2013.  Instead of ruling on this Motion, the judge decided to “give both sides an opportunity to present their case before making his decision,” according to the article.  He set another hearing for September 9, 2013.

Talk about an anticlimactic ending to a much anticipated showdown between Klock and opposing counsel, the formidable Benedict P. Kuehne, Esquire.  I can’t even begin to imagine the let down they both must have felt after they loaded up their man cards and came ready for a battle, only to be told to take their toys and go home.  Ouch!

Both lawyers did, however, manage to sling some arrows before the whistle blew.  Kuehne accused Burns of knowing that Lucie had residency issues during the campaign.

Ya think?

News Flash, Ben: Unless you lived under a rock throughout the election, you’d know that, too.

Klock swiped back by accusing Lucie of not living with her minor child.

That’s hardly breaking news, either, since candidates abandoning their their minor children to run for office was apparently all the rage in the 2013 election season.  See: Yvenoline “Yve” Dargenson and Anna “Sugar Cookie” Pierre, both of whom claimed their children lived in Miramar while their own “residences” were in North Miami Beach and North Miami, respectively.

Yeah, right.

In any event, today’s hearing resolved nothing.  Ordinarily, I’d have nothing to report, but…

An interesting item appeared on the case docket, which is something worth reporting.  On July 31, 2013, Benedict P. Kuehne, Esquire, submitted to the Court an Affidavit of Former Mayor Andre Pierre in Opposition to Plaintiff’s Motion for Summary Judgment.

Um, yes, you read that correctly.  The Mayor Who Won’t Go Away decided to insert himself into this lawsuit not only because he wants another fifteen minutes, but also because he has a stake in keeping Lucie in office.  If Lucie is ousted, Andre’s only power source on that council is his long time crony Marie Steril, and she’s only one out of five votes.  If Lucie gets ousted, and especially if North Miami City Clerk, The Hon. Michael A. Etienne, Esquire, is implicated in this mess, Andre will (finally) be yesterday’s headlines.  That simply won’t do.

It sure seems like a desperate move on Ben Kuehne’s part to enlist the help of the former mayor, but as we all know by now, Kuehne should never be underestimated.

In the four page Affidavit, Andre Pierre stated under oath that until the May 14, 2013 election when a Charter Amendment was adopted, the previous North Miami Charter did not require “the listing of documents supportive of a candidate’s residency,” and that the language regarding documentation that was ultimately added to the Charter was not in effect during the qualification period preceding the 2013 mayoral election.

On top of that, King Andre announced that “the North Miami Ordinance governing candidate qualifications,” or Sec. 6-78 (b) (2), which clearly states that a candidate provide certain documentation proving residency, and which was in the City’s Code of Ordinances since at least 1993, doesn’t count.  WTF?

In the Kingdom of North Miami, City Ordinances are discretionary.  Also, according to Andre, no candidate for office ever, in the history of North Miami, and certainly not during His Majesty’s term, had to show proof of residency.  (Sources tell me that this statement is a flat out lie.  I’m shocked.)

His Highness wrapped up his decree by stating the obvious, i.e., that during the campaign Kevin Burns claimed that Lucie and other candidates did not live in North Miami.

Really, Andre?  Did you figure that one out all by yourself?

Considering that during the election the Gadfly blogged practically daily about ALL the non-resident candidates in both North Miami and North Miami Beach, Kevin Burns’ “knowledge” was hardly revelatory.  Andre, you really do need to read VotersOpinion.com.  I’ll send you a complimentary subscription.

Now, Mr. Pierre, you said your piece.

In the final analysis, we are all going to have to suffer through the next thirty eight days until the Heavyweight Championship Match between Klock and Kuehne.  Hopefully, it will be worth the wait.

If you really just can’t take the suspense, simply tune into NBC at 8:00 this Sunday night for the NFL Hall of Fame Game and watch the Dolphins open a can of whoopass on the Cowboys!

Or not.

Oh, yeah.  The hell with politics … I SMELL FOOTBALL!

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”