When North Miami Beach EX-mayor/current criminal defendant Myron Rosner lost his seat and then got himself arrested, I figured he’d never eat lunch in this town again.  What could possibly be more humiliating than a perp walk from Council Chambers to County Jail?  Then again, this is Myron we’re talking about.  His shameless chutzpah knows no bounds.  He’s probably convinced himself that handcuffs are a fashion accessory.

Of course, with his wife, CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE SARAH ZABEL, and his celebrity criminal laywer, Benedict P. Kuehne by his side, Myron surely believes he’s invincible.  The way his court case is going so far, he just might be.

Myron wasted no time hiring Kuehne, who has perfected the art of stonewalling court cases into oblivion by any means necessary.  As NMB Resident Pitbull Bruce Lamberto is fond of saying, “Delay, delay, delay.  Hope it all goes away.”  Or something like that.

According to the docket of Circuit Court Case No. F12023663, The State of Florida vs. Myron Joel Rosner, the nine charges against him include four felonies and five misdemeanors, as follows:

Between his arrest on September 20, 2012 and the umpteenth status hearing set for tomorrow, July 31, 2013, with the help of Big Ben, Myron paid $8,500.00 in bonds, pleaded not guilty, had one judge recuse him or herself, waived a speedy trial and had two trial dates postponed.

Today there was yet another status conference scheduled, apparently during which another status conference was set for tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m.  The Master of Filibuster, Ben Kuehne managed to buy Myron another day’s reprieve.

And so it continues … Delay, delay, delay.

Meanwhile, today – the day of the aborted status conference – there was not one but two Myron sightings in North Miami Beach.  Myron might not be eating lunch in this town, but Gadfly Spies have caught glimpses of him … shopping for lunch?

This morning Myron was seen entering Wal*Mart and this afternoon Costco, so we know he’s alive and well.  And nasty as ever, judging by the fact that he breezed by my confidential informants with nary a nod.  (Okay, make that my not-so-confidential informants.)

In any event, tomorrow may or may not be the day that a trial will finally be set.  That remains to be seen.  But if Ben Kuehne has his way, he’ll get a trial postponed yet again, and another status hearing will be scheduled.

Not privy to the inner workings of the criminal justice system, I can only guess that a status hearing is to keep the judge apprised on the details of the case.  I could probably save the Court time (and the taxpayers money) by advising her that Myron was, is and continues to be a complete waste of human DNA.  See?  That was easy!  Now get on with the trial.

Meanwhile, the indefatigable Benedict P. Kuehne is busy defending North Miami Non-Resident Mayor Coco Douce, a/k/a Lucie Tondreau, in the lawsuit against her by her former opponent, Kevin Burns.  I just received a copy of his Kitchen Sink Defense response to the lawsuit, and a 33 page Motion to Dismiss, which I will review tomorrow.  Blog will be forthcoming.  Stay tuned…

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”