This is my first ever “travel-blog,” which I had absolutely no intention of writing.  And yet, here it is.

A couple of my friends suggested that some of my readers might be interested in something besides political dirt.  If you like it, great!  If you think it sucks, blame my friends.

I started my big adventure in Ireland, then moved on to Scotland, Liverpool, and London before finally getting on a 747 and hitting the runway at MIA nine long hours later.  This trip was a wild and crazy ride for me since I’m not big on traveling in the first place.  I figure since it’s a slow news week here in NMB and North Miami, now’s as good a time as any to share my experience with you.  I took nearly a thousand pictures, but in the interest of space (not to mention boring you to death) I’m limiting it to only the best of the best for this blog, so here goes.  Europe – my way.

ROMANCING THE STONE

No trip to the Emerald Isle is complete without visiting the Blarney Castle in – where else – Blarney, Ireland.

One does not just visit Blarney Castle to take pictures.  One must climb up a treacherous winding staircase with extremely narrow steps, all the while dreading the trip down, in order to kiss the Blarney Stone.  I have absolutely no idea why this ritual is necessary.  I just know it’s supposed to be done.  It isn’t easy.  You must lie on your back with your head poking out of a hole in the wall of the castle, lean way back while someone holds on to you, tilt your head back and, well, kiss it.  For real.  Gross, right?  People who know me know full well I have no intention of sharing saliva with an inanimate object that hundreds of thousands of other people have also slobbered on.  So, I touched my nose to the freaking Stone.  Okay, happy now?

The above described pose is, as you can imagine, less than flattering.  To spare myself the humiliation, I’m not showing the picture of me partaking.  Here’s a photo I took of the woman in front of me who planted her kisser on the hallowed Stone so you get the picture.

Surprisingly, no one got hurt on the staircase that morning.  But on the very top of the castle where the Blarney Stone sits, a man got so excited over his Blarney Kiss that he jumped up and when he landed on the uneven terrain he actually twisted his leg and broke his ankle.  How weird is that?  He had to be taken down the Castle by the fire department on a pulley since he couldn’t walk and the stairway down was way too narrow to be carried.  Here’s a picture of the rescue truck.

Fortunately, I made it down in one piece.

CASTLES, PART I

I spent a couple nights in a castle called Dromoland, which was converted into a hotel.  The place was gorgeous except for the fact that there is no air conditioning in a castle.  A/C was sorely missed by me during that country’s first heat wave in nearly a decade.  Just my luck, right?  On one particularly sweltering day it was hotter in Ireland than it was in South Florida!  Oh, and there was no elevator, which necessitated a walk up five flights of stairs, the top two by winding staircase, in order to get to my room.  Apparently, castles are full of winding staircases.  WTF?

See that little window at the very top of the tower on the left?  That was my bathroom.  In other words, stifling heat – no cross ventilation.  But when in Ireland, see it like a native.

THE CLIFFS OF MOHER

I came, I saw, I took pictures.  Here’s one.  Enjoy.

CASTLES, PART II

The next stop was Ashford Castle, which was also converted into a hotel.  Also without air conditioning, but more and bigger windows. Thankfully, there was also an elevator!  Plus, the bathroom was to die for.

Seriously!  Is that a freaking amazing bathroom or what?  Oh, the little things that thrill me!

The grounds at Ashford were absolutely breathtaking.  I spent many hours just walking around exploring.

I also visited the School of Falconry and flew a hawk.  A FREAKING HAWK!  How cool is that?  Radically cool!

Yes, that is a hawk on my arm.  OMG! Did I really do that?  Getting brave in my old age.

But the most exciting part was finding out that President Ronald Reagan had stayed there!

Yeah, that was a highlight.  It made the heat bearable.

The castle hopping was totally awesome, but it was then time to hit the big cities.

DUBLIN

Next stop Dublin.  This city is a trip. For starters, there is a clock tower on practically every block.

You can tour the city by a horse drawn buggy (or by using a handy dandy HAILO app, as seen on the taxi).

If you’re feeling really adventurous, you can don a Viking cap and hop on a bus that goes on both land and water.

Folks, as tempting as it was, I was somehow able to refrain from getting on that bus.  That just seemed like way too much excitement for me, so I settled for the rather ordinary double decker tour bus.

In addition to clock towers, I’m happy to report that graffiti is not just a problem confined to the colonies.  Taggers are also quite creative across the pond.

Made me a little homesick.

In all seriousness, I visited the incredibly beautiful St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

With this absolutely gorgeous altar.

As much as I enjoyed Dublin, it was time to move on.

BUH BYE, IRELAND. HELLO, SCOTLAND!

After two days in Dublin, I hopped this Aer Lingus prop jet to Glasgow, Scotland.

My ears are still ringing.

Immediately upon arrival, I got on a tour bus and took a picture of this random dude standing in front of the Glasgow City Council building.

Waiting for the council meeting to start, I suppose.

I was mightily impressed by what must have been a graffiti artist’s daring feat, not to mention his Spiderman capabilities.

Another awesome Only-In-Glasgow thing I encountered was this depiction of the Blues Brothers in the window of the bar next to my hotel.  I just love Jake and Elwood Blues!  “We’re on a mission from God!”

No visit to Scotland would be complete without a peek into a kilt store.

Are you man enough?  Just asking.

Glasgow is also home to the world famous Kelvingrove Art Gallery & Museum,

Which exhibits an original oil painting by Salvador Dali entitled Christ of St. John of the Cross.

Trust me.  In person it’s pretty awe inspiring.

The Museum grounds also features a few of these planters, courtesy of the Glasgow City Council.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I got a kick out of that.

The Botanical Gardens in Glasgow is also worth visiting.  If you’re into that sort of thing.  Most noteworthy was its police station.

Also some flowers and trees and stuff.  If you want pics, shoot me an email and I’ll bombard you with ’em.

Never let it be said that Glasgowegians don’t have a sense of humor.  Here is a statue of some important historical dude on his horse in front of the Gallery of Modern Art … with a traffic cone on his head.

Notice the City Council planters at the base of the Museum.  No further comment necessary.

Before I knew it, it was time to move on.

NEXT STOP, EDINBURGH
To be continued…

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”