As she did on Monday, Miami Herald reporter Paradise Afshar Tweeted the proceedings of today’s hearing in Judge Darrin Gayles’ courtroom in the case of Beth Spiegel vs. Yvenoline Dargenson.  The entire hearing took ten minutes, encapsulated into five Tweets.

Court started at approximately 10:30 am, and Paradise Tweeted:

Then she Tweeted:

Okay, so let me get this straight.  Dargie’s attorney, Frank Wolland had the freaking chutzpah to play the Constitution Card?  Oh, yeah, he did.

Obviously, the Race Card didn’t work.

I don’t know about you folks, but if every two bit hustler of an attorney won a case by claiming that a law is unconstitutional, we’d have complete and utter anarchy.  Judges must be pretty sick of hearing such nonsense.  But it also goes to show you how desperate people take desperate measures.  Frank must have been pretty desperate by that point.

If Frank “I’m No Rocket Scientist” Wolland’s claim that our city’s Charter is unconstitutional wasn’t insane enough, he then tried to tell the judge that the decision the Court made on Monday IMPACTED THE RESULTS OF THE ELECTION AND HE WANTED DO-OVERS!

WTF?

If I remember correctly (and, for the record, yes, I do), Judge Gayles ruled that the North Miami Beach election would go on as planned yesterday, but that the city was not allowed to certify the election results until he made his final ruling today.

I’d love for Frank to try to explain with a straight face what impact he thinks that decision had on yesterday’s election.  Does he really believe his own fiction?

I’m not sure about you, folks, but I seriously doubt that any one of the 1,148 people who voted for Beth Spiegel said to themselves before casting their ballot, “OMFG!  The City Clerk can’t certify the results of the election until the judge gives the go ahead, so maybe I’d better vote for Beth Spiegel instead of the LIAR from MIRAMAR.”

You know, just in case.

Think about that for one second, Frank, and then tell me that wasn’t up there with some of your most Stupid Ass Comments.

Trust me, it was.

As for Frank’s request for a special election, see my comment above about Stupid Ass Comments.  Add, “ditto.”

Actual Attorney Joseph S. Geller, as opposed to Clown Attorney Frank, calmly reminded the Court why they were there by stating that the election was already over.

Not that the Court needed any reminding since it’s already been established that Judge Gayles knows exactly what’s going on in this case.  He’s one sharp cookie, that dude.  The Eleventh Judicial Circuit sure could use more of his ilk and less of the Sarah Zabel type.  Just saying.

In any event, as evidenced by Paradise Afshar’s final Tweet, His Honor gave Wolland a smack up side the head and gave our Clerk a green light to certify the results.

The very dramatic 2013 North Miami Beach City Council election season has now come to a close.  The results are officially CERTIFIABLE.

And so is Frank Wolland, Esquire.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”