After yesterday’s trouncing at the polls in North Miami, Anna L. Pierre can now take her sugar cookie and slither back home to MIRAMAR.  Jesus may love her, but the voters laughed her out of town.  Of the 6,786 people who cast their votes in the mayoral race, Princess Bonbon received a humiliating 56.  With 116 nods, even Modira Escarment, who never showed up at all, snatched more than twice that.  Maybe it was the voodoo after all.  Just saying.

In the mayoral race, the biggest winner was Kevin Burns with 2,254 votes, followed by NON-RESIDENT Lucie Tondreau with 1,870.  Smith Joseph came in third with 1,561 votes.  Considering he spent $190,143.25 on his campaign, that breaks down to $121.81 per nod, or about the price of a doctor’s visit.  Maybe he should have stayed at the office instead of run for one.  Gwen Boyd received 555 votes, which is more than current councilman Jean R. Marcellus managed to snag with his total of 374.  His decision to run for mayor cost him his seat on the dais.  Not his finest moment, I’m guessing.  Buh bye, Jean.  Don’t let the door hit your tuchus on the way out.

In District 2, 1,647 voters came out to pick their representative, and the vast majority of them said “I ❤ Carol Keys.”  With 816 votes, or 49.54% of the turnout, Carol missed taking the race outright by a slim 9 votes, and now she has to enter into a runoff against Mary Irvin, who only got 435, or 26.41%.  Michael Blynn was finally sent home when only 254, or 15.42% of his constituents supported him, and the King of Schtick, Joseph Haber only rounded up 142 votes.  Handing out bars of soap might have been cute, but serious voters wanted a serious candidate.  When it comes to cleaning up City Hall in North Miami, Carol Keys is dead serious.  The majority of voters made the right decision.  Let’s hope they turn out for the runoff and seal the deal.

Lastly, 1,517 voters in District 3 gave Philippe Bien-Aime and Jacques Despinosse a second chance to go head to head for the seat.  A total of 627 votes gave Bien-Aime the lead with 41.33%, while Despinosse came in second place with 416 votes, of 27.42%.  Hans Mardy came in third place with 363, or 23.93% of the vote and will now be interviewing cities to see where he’ll run next.  Poor Katiusquie Pierre, adorable name and all, came in last place with 111 votes, or 7.32%.  But she can proudly boast nearly twice the votes than the candidate Jesus endorsed, so it wasn’t a total loss.

Now if I lived and voted in North Miami I’d be comfortable giving a formal endorsement of my choice in each race.  Then again, it doesn’t seem to be a requirement to live in North Miami in order to run for office, so what the heck.  I’ll endorse.

For mayor, Kevin Burns is a NO BRAINER!  He has experience as mayor, he’ll take no prisoners when it comes to cleaning up the city, AND HE LIVES IN NORTH MIAMI!  I’d say, he’s got what it takes.  Lucie, on the other hand, is merely an extension of Andre Pierre.  If she were to win, the King of Corruption would still be running North Miami by proxy.  If the voters of North Miami are serious about running the Circle of Corruption out of town for good, THEY MUST VOTE FOR KEVIN BURNS FOR MAYOR!

Carol Keys should easily beat her opponent.  While my endorsement is probably unnecessary, she gets it anyway.  VOTE FOR CAROL KEYS DISTRICT 2!

Voters have a real chance to finally take their district back by electing Jacques Despinosse over his opponent, Philippe Bien-Aime, who probably doesn’t even live in North Miami.  Mr. Despinosse has already proven that he’s honest, hard working and dedicated to making North Miami a great place to live and work.  If District 3 voters are serious about taking back City Hall from the dirt bags who run it, they will CAST THEIR VOTES FOR JACQUES DESPINOSSE!

I’m not sure who Jesus will endorse, but the Gadfly has spoken.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”