Hello, North Miami!  I bet you guys thought I forgot about you, but as Willie Nelson says, you’re Always On My Mind.

While North Miami Beach takes a collective deep breath before the campaigning starts again in earnest this weekend, I thought I’d give you an update on what’s been happening in our sister city to the south.

For starters, Francisco Alvarez over at the Miami New Times is pondering Which Loser Will Replace North Miami Mayor Andre Pierre?  He slams all the contenders on an equal opportunity basis.  Regardless of who you’re voting for, read this for a hearty chuckle.

As of today, there are still seven contenders for the mayoral seat, four candidates in District 2 and five in District 3, if you count James Herard who’s been MIA since he filed.  As far as I can tell, NON-RESIDENTS Lucie Tondreau and Anna “Sugar Cookie” Pierre (and possibly Philippe Bien-Aime) still don’t live in North Miami, Smith Joseph is still filthy rich, Modira Escarment is still a man, and Michael Blynn is still verklempt.

But the best news tidbit of the week is about current councilman/mayoral hopeful Jean Rodrigue Marcellus, who started his Tuesday evening out with a bang.  Or, rather, a punch.  In the mouth.

This is NOT funny, so quit laughing!

Okay, it’s a little funny, but I’m sure he didn’t think so at the time.

According to a Miami Herald article on Wednesday, Blaise Felix, an old acquaintance of Marcellus, walked into “his campaign headquarters” and they started “catching up on old times,” when Felix called him “an m-fer,” and just hauled off and socked him in the kisser.  (Marcellus has a “campaign headquarters?”  WTF?)

By the time this news flash made the rounds of North Miami political afficionados, the word on the street was that Marcellus got knifed.  That tale was understandably blown out of proportion because, as the article explained, the perpetrator only “TRIED to reach for a KNIFE on his desk,” but fortunately Jean’s “supporters” grabbed Felix before he could grab the knife.  Well, that sure clears things up.

Marcellus was treated at the scene and Felix, well, he had to go to the hospital because he hurt his hand when he tried to convince Marcellus not to run for mayor.

With his fist.

Apparently, North Miami’s primary manner of communication.

Hey, Blaise.  Why don’t you tell us how you really feel?

All’s well that ends well, except that I have one burning question.

Has anyone bothered to ask Jean Marcellus why he had a knife on his desk?

Then again, this IS North Miami we’re talking about.

Stupid question.  Never mind.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”