Okay, yeah.  I am such a bitch.  I admit it.  But, hey, I’m so damn good at it, it’s like a calling to me.  Why fight it?

So, “Yve.”  Sweetie.  Can we talk?  Girlfriend to girlfriend, ya know.  Okay?

Honey, now you know you don’t live here.  Who do you think you’re kidding?  Certainly not me.

Listen up, girlfriend.  North Miami Beach is my home town.  I’ve lived here for almost 24 years, and I’d know if you were one of us.  Unlike you, I raised three children in this city.  My kids went to Greynolds Park Elementary, JFK Middle, and graduated from North Miami Beach Senior High School.  I have firmly planted my roots here.  I own this town.

Because I’ve taken ownership of my city, I’m very protective of it and all its residents.  If you had done the same, you wouldn’t have bought a house in MIRAMAR, BROWARD COUNTY.  You wouldn’t have chosen to get married and raise your family in MIRAMAR, BROWARD COUNTY.  If you want to run for office, do it in YOUR HOME TOWN OF MIRAMAR.

You could have made North Miami Beach your home town, but you decided to leave thirteen years ago and never look back.

Until now, that is.

Here’s the problem, girlfriend.  You got yourself in this pickle by getting into bed with the Class Clown of NMB, L’il Frantzie P.  Figuratively speaking, of course, dearie.

You allowed yourself to be sweet talked into running for office by the one person whose claim to fame is that he’s biggest little joke in the history of our council.  We all know that you’re nothing but his little puppet.  If you keep letting him pull your strings, you’ll end up being the laughing stock of the city.  Is that what you really want, honey?

Let’s get real.

You don’t live in North Miami Beach.

You know it.
I know it.
You know I know it. 

The council knows it.
The employees know it.
The residents know it.

The Judge is gonna know it.

And before long, your employer’s gonna know it, too.

Do you really think you’re fooling anyone?

Listen up, girlfriend.  If you think I’m a bitch now, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

I’m not going to sit back and let this scam be perpetrated on the residents of North Miami Beach.  I am going to expose you for the fraud that you are every single chance I get.  I’ll shout it from the rooftops if I have to.  Literally.  I got nothin’ but time on my hands and I am relentless.

If you doubt me, just ask Myron how underestimating me worked out for him.

Do you really want to subject yourself to all this humiliation?  Is it really worth it to you?

Seriously, girlfriend.  Spare yourself the shame by bowing out gracefully before it gets any uglier.  Believe me, sweetie.  I’m just getting started.

So, yeah.  I’m a bitch.  I’m cool with that.

But trust me, honey.  Before this is all over, you’re gonna be mine.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”