My ongoing battle with the City of North Miami Beach continues. I finally got a return phone call from City Manager Roslyn Weisblum late Friday afternoon. That was twenty minutes I’ll never get back.
As I reported in CYA in NMB, there are presently eight (8) registered voters who claim they live in councilman Frantz Pierre’s house. This is in addition to the five (5) minor children who are believed to also live with Mr. Pierre and his wife, bringing the total number of people who live at La Maison de Pierre to thirteen. Since it’s quite probable that the eight (8) registered voters are not all married to or are the children of Mr. and Mrs. Pierre, it would seem that the good councilman is violating his own city’s Ordinance No. 92-9.
Good old Roz tried her best Street Furniture argument on me, which will fly when pigs do. Despite the fact that the city’s Ordinance is very clear on the definition of “family” as being “One (1) or more persons occupying a dwelling, not more than three (3) of whom are unrelated to each other by birth, adoption, or marriage, and who are living and cooking as a single household. (Ord. No. 92-9, § 2, 6-16-92)”, Roz tried really hard to convince me that I can’t read English.
As Dave Barry would say, “I am not making this up.” Despite my initial difficulty finding the Ordinance on the city’s website due to a mistyping of the Section number, it’s published there in black and white.
In Clintonian fashion, the city manager and I went around in circles as to the definition of the words “birth” and “marriage.” Roz kept insisting that if two people are related by “birth,” it also includes siblings. I don’t know about you folks, but I gave “birth” to my children – not my siblings, thank you very much.
Roz also wanted to expand the definition of the word “marriage” to include in-laws, as in: My brother, who is related to me by “birth,” is married to my sister-in-law, which makes her related to me by “marriage.”
Well, I guess that all depends on what your definition of the world “is” is. Right, Bill?
As John Stossel would say, “Give me a break!”
Roz also tried to cover Frantzie’s puny ass by reinventing the method of counting from one to three. I put on my Kindergarten Teacher Hat to explain to her that “no more than three” actually means that “one,” “two,” and “three” are okay, but that “four or more” are not okay. I even spoke slowly and used simple words to explain how Frantzie can have up to three but not more than three persons who are unrelated by birth, adoption, or marriage living in his house. I frustratingly tried every possible example of combinations to explain the difference between “three” and “more than three,” but Roz is either incredibly stupid or was just playing incredibly stupid in order to win the argument. I honestly can’t figure out which, but logic obviously prevails. Oh, and the fact that numbers are numbers, regardless of what the definition of the word “is” is, so it’s hard to win that one.
Moving right along.
When we both agreed on the proper method of counting from one to three, Roz tried a different tactic. She attempted to tell me that the only reason the Ordinance was implemented in the first place was to discourage owners from using their homes as boarding houses. Hence the word “family” when defining who may live in a single family home.
Here’s the problem, Roz. I don’t give a rat’s ass WHY the Ordinance was implemented. I only care THAT the Ordinance was implemented. If the legislators who passed the Ordinance in 1992 intended for this Law to outlaw boarding houses, the Ordinance should have included language stating “There shalt be no boarding houses.” As it stands on the books right now, here in 2013, the Ordinance still says what it said in 1992. It doesn’t say what the legislators were thinking at the time they voted to pass it.
DUH!
Then Roz actually had the freaking chutzpah to tell me that just because the eight people have Florida-issued voter registration cards listing 2120 NE 171 Street, North Miami Beach, Florida 33162 as their domicile, she cannot assume they actually live there for the purpose of enforcing Ordinance 92-9. Seriously? She takes the word of a known liar (that’d be Frantzie) over the certified records of the Division of Elections of the State of Florida? C’mon, Roz! You can’t be THAT stupid, can you?
Wait a minute. Yeah, I guess you can.
When Roz finally realized I wasn’t buying her bullshit, she became quite agitated, told me to have a nice weekend, and promptly hung up on me.
Here’s the thing. There is a Chain of Command at City Hall, a/k/a the Government Food Chain, and everyone has their part to play.
I’ve been giving the Code Compliance Manager, Eric Wardle, a hard time because he refuses to determine whether or not L’il Frantzie P is in violation of Ordinance 92-9 by having too many “boarders” in his house. He told me that Frantz told him he’s not in violation, and that’s good enough for him.
The truth is that Mr. Wardle has a boss, and that boss is Roz.
If Roz tells Eric to sit, he’d better ask “Where?”
If Roz tells Eric to jump, he’d better say, “How high?”
If Roz tells Eric to ignore Kienzle, he’d better say, “Kienzle who?”
Assuming that Mr. Wardle likes his job, he’s not gonna take any chances to piss Roz off, right? Right. He’s just trying to do his job and not get fired.
The second truth is that Roz has a boss. Actually, she has seven bosses, one of whom just happens to be Frantz Pee-Air. Using the Eric Example, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say:
If Pee-Air tells Roz to sit, she’d better say, “Where?”
If Pee-Air tells Roz to jump, she’d better say, “How high?”
If Pee-Air tells Roz to ignore Kienzle, she’d better say, “Kienzle who?”
Assuming that Roz likes her job, and her pension, and her DROP money, she’s not gonna take any chances of getting her ass fired by pissing off The P Man, right? Right.
In the Government Food Chain of North Miami Beach, Eric Wardle is the plankton, Roslyn Weisblum is the guppy and Frantz is the shark. Trust me, the plankton and the guppy are no match for the shark. That’s exactly how EX-mayor Myron Rosner got away with his bullying ways for so long. But, as we all know, even the biggest shark eventually gets caught. And, L’il Frantzie P is hardly the biggest shark in the tank!
The only way that Frantz Pierre is going to get his comeuppance is if his colleagues on the dais stop putting up with his ethically challenged behavior. Frantz has gotten away with his buffoonery for far too long. He’s already been the subject of not one, not two, not three or four, but FIVE, count ’em, FIVE Internal Affairs investigations, not to mention his close ties to the questionable “non-profit” organizations that have conned the city out of money over the years. And now Frantzie is either violating the city Code by living with twelve other people, seven of them adults, in a three bedroom, two bath single family home, or he’s violating the Florida Statutes by allowing them to falsely use his address for the purpose of committing voter fraud. Either way, he’s a total screw up.
It’s up to the Mayor and Council to call Frantzie on his shit. It’s also up to them to tell their employee, City Manager Roslyn Weisblum, to stop protecting Frantz by allowing Code Enforcement Manager Eric Wardle to enforce the Code.
It’s time for the entire Food Chain Gang to either cut the crap or start practicing these six words: DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?
Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”
