Now that I’ve had time to finish my lunch (I was a good girl, I ended up eating the salad instead of chocolate), I had time to really review the press release about Myron Rosner’s arrest.  There are a few interesting things I want to point out.

The presser states, “In one instance, personal advertising messages were paid for from funds donated to the Myron Rosner Campaign Account which constitutes felony Grand Theft from the campaign account.”  Turns out that had something to do with Myron’s freaking pre-campaign fake Happy Holiday bus benches that littered the North Miami Beach landscape from November, 2010 through January, 2011 and drove me absolutely CRAZY!

These are the very same fake Happy Holiday benches that miraculously turned into campaign bus benches on or about February 1, 2011 at the official start of campaign season.  I had been trying to find out how Myron paid for those fake Happy Holiday bus bench ads, but had no luck.  I simply assumed that he paid for them out of his own pocket since the signs sported a disclaimer that said, “Independent expenditure not paid with City Funds.”  What I didn’t know, and what reporter David Ovalle wrote in his updated Miami Herald article Former North Miami Beach Mayor Myron Rosner arrested, was that Myron “paid $450 to R&D [Printing] from his campaign account” for that advertising, hence the FELONY GRAND THEFT charge.  NICE WORK, GUYS!

But, wait!  There’s MORE!

In addition, those fake Happy Holiday bus bench ads Myron commissioned from Martin Outdoor Media were supposed to be taken down on January 15, 2011, but “that Rosner coerced the company into keeping the bus bench ads in place – for free – for an additional month,” thereby screwing Martin out of “an additional $1,389.39.”  We knew he was a bully, now it’s just been confirmed!

But, wait!  There’s MORE!

The Herald further reported, “With his campaign money, Rosner later bought $4,500 in legitimate political bus bench ads, but never reported it and later insisted that the company reimburse him the money to one of his political action committees, the warrant said.  Martin told investigators that “he has never been ‘shaken down like this’” and that he feared Rosner because of his mayoral position and because his wife is a judge.”

I KNEW IT!  What a dirtbag!  We always knew he was using his wife’s position as a CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE, and now we have proof!

Kudos definitely go to the Miami-Dade State Attorney’s Office, the Miami-Dade Police Department Public Corruption Investigation Bureau, and yes, even the Miami-Dade Commission on Ethics.

I do, however, have a beef with my good buddy, Joseph M. Centorino, Executive Director of the Miami-Dade Commission on Ethics and Public Trust.  At the end of the press release, Joe was quoted as saying, “I am proud of the work our investigators put into this case. It involved a lot of painstaking research and legwork to assemble the pieces necessary to prove it up, and that would not have occurred without teamwork among the three offices involved.”

Oh, really, Joe?  The Gadfly had nothing to do with it?  SERIOUSLY?

If it weren’t for MY “painstaking research and legwork” this case, which you didn’t want to deal with in the first place when you were a State Attorney, WOULD NEVER HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT OF DAY!  A little credit where it’s due, Joe.  Dude, that was so uncool.

Luckily, the Miami New Times and the Miami Herald both had the decency to mention me.  Thanks, guys.

First, Tim Elfrink of the Miami New Times published a statement given by Myron’s CRIMINAL ATTORNEY, Ben Keuhne:

“Myron Rosner has long been a dedicated community activist and public official. He has served his community honorably as Mayor and Council Member for the City of North Miami Beach. His life has been focused on the betterment of his community within the allowable limits of the law. As a political candidate, he has always attempted to follow the complex requirements of Election and Campaign Finance Laws. He is confident he has done his best to comply with the law, and any errors that resulted were neither intentional nor harmful. Just as he has put his public official life behind him, he expects to be able to move beyond this current misunderstanding. He thanks the community for the support shown for him.”

I almost choked on my coffee when I read that he “served his community honorably!”  Yeah, right!  He bullied everyone who lived and worked in the city.  But, I guess his high priced hooker, oops, I mean lawyer, was simply paid to say that.

Then Miami Herald reporter, David Ovalle, Tweeted at about noon today that “Former N. Miami Beach Mayor Myron Rosner arrested today on allegations of campaign fraud.”  An hour later he Tweeted, “Rosner’s wife is Miami-Dade Judge Sarah Zabel. Explains why Justice Polston (@flcourts) assigned a Broward judge to review arrest warrant.”

That’s good news since no Miami-Dade prosecutor could possibly get a fair trial what with Myron’s wife, CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE SARAH ZABEL, sitting on a bench in this county.

So, folks, there you have it.  The whole sordid story of Myron’s arrest.  I wonder if he’ll bond out today or spend the night in the hoosegow.  Hope he gets a cellmate with a sense of humor.  I’m just saying.

Meanwhile, I prepared some artwork, AT NO CHARGE, for Myron’s 2012 Happy Holidays bus bench ads.  Let me know what you think.

Lovely mug shot, eh?  (Courtesy of the Miami-Dade County Inmate Profile System.)

And now I get chocolate!

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”