I ventured out of my comfort zone on Tuesday to attend the North Miami Beach City Council meeting.  Yeah, that was fun.

The first hilarity occurred when I saw councilman Frantz Pierre, a/k/a L’il Frantzie P, a/k/a Pee-Air, a/k/a the P Man, occupying the Mayor’s seat.  The actual Mayor, Señor Vallejo, is currently on a much needed vacation with his family.  Since it’s Frantzie’s turn at bat, he gets to put on his big boy pants and play vice mayor for a few months.  Isn’t that special?

You can watch the fun on the city’s website.  Make popcorn first and enjoy the show.

From the very beginning when he welcomed the audience and asked the Clerk to call the roll of the Council, the P Man was so out of his league.  Like a little boy sitting in daddy’s chair, you can tell he just loved playing grown up.  Sort of like the time he tried to get the City Manager Lyndon Bonner fired, as I reported in The Drama Queen of NMB.  When the City Manager called his bluff, L’il Frantzie P backed down, claiming he was only asking for a “Moment of Reflection.”  That was priceless!

Tuesday night’s show was no different.  Pee-Air was in his glory at the head of the table.

I’ll skip to the Public Comment section, which is always entertaining.  First up was Ivonne Cuesta, candidate for County Court Judge, who introduced herself to the Council and the residents.  Awesome lady!  (Please come to her Meet & Greet on July 25th!).  Judge Don Cohn, who is running for re-election, also came up to speak.

Then the usual suspects came to the podium, shot their loads and filed back to their seats.  Charles Loeb said he doesn’t like strip clubs because he doesn’t like alcohol and he’s afraid kids will become strippers.  Okay, moving right along.

The absolute highlight of the public speaker event was Bert Kehren’s smack down of Frantzie for being “a disgrace to the city.”  That sure sums it up in a nutshell!  I’m sure it has something to with all the unethical acts he’s committed and continues to commit.  Mr. Pee-Air has already been the subject of three or four Internal Affairs investigations and is currently being investigated AGAIN!  Frantzie has a bad habit of throwing out false accusations against people he doesn’t like, filing fraudulent police reports, allegedly committing perjury, claiming that people are out to get him by planting drugs in his office, insinuating that city employees are on the take or getting kickbacks from potential vendors.  Frantzie, Frantzie, Frantzie.  Have you learned nothing?  It’s important to note that the P Man has accused Shari Kamali, Director of Public Services, of dirty dealings, claiming that he has “incontrovertible proof and three credible witnesses” to her alleged wrongdoing, which is the subject of the latest Internal Affairs investigation.  It’s also noteworthy that Frantz Pierre HAS THUS FAR REFUSED TO COOPERATE WITH THE POLICE by withholding the names of these so-called “witnesses.”  Gee, I wonder why he can’t name names.  It’d be awfully difficult for the police to arrest Caspar the Friendly Ghost and his fictional friends.  Bert excellently summed it up in his closing statement, “You have clearly demonstrated behavior that poisons the work envirnment in this city, disregard for individuals, hurts our reputation, continues to escalate, and the question is:  What’s next if we do not stop you now?”

Resident Chuck Cook came up to the dais, expressing how important public comments are in Council meetings, but reminding people that overkill is unnecessary and even unproductive.  He spoke of certain residents who feel compelled to speak at every opportunity, whether or not they have anything valuable to say.  Chuck stated that these individuals express an “egocentric exercise in self-serving behavior” and that “they rarely miss an opportunity to speak and never have a genuine thought.”  No further comment necessary except, “Thanks for your feedback!”

A Mr. Paul came up to complain about a $2,500.00 water bill.  Holy crap!  Turns out he has a water leak that he was unaware of and hopefully the city will adjust that bill.  I hope they’ll help this guy out and reverse most of the charges.  That would show some good will from the City That Cares.

My new BFF, Karyne Pompilus came up to the podium for her bi-monthly performance.  This time she felt compelled to justify her presence in North Miami Beach even though she lives in Broward County, swore up and down she wasn’t there for money, but made it a point to let us know that her daughter was studying in South Africa “on American taxpayer money.”  REALLY?  Gee, doesn’t that make you want to drop everything and write a check to the IRS this very minute?  Ms. Pompilus also warned us that her daughter will be back in two weeks to get more “scholarship” so she can finish spending “American taxpayer money” abroad.

If I would have known I could get “American taxpayer money” to send my kids to college, maybe I could have saved myself tens of thousands of dollars having them educated.  I’m just saying.

Ms. Pompilus continued by saying that because she raised her kids in North Miami Beach, our city is her second home.  And, she has “the qualification as a Haitian American” and she got a “student loan” and a “scholarship, also.”

Oh, I get it.  I got stuck with the bill for my kids’ schooling because they didn’t have “the qualification.”  They aren’t “Haitian American.”  Good to know that, as Ms. Pompilus stated, “Americans have been working for people like [her].”

Gee, that’s funny.  Here all this time I thought I’ve been working to raise my family.  I had no idea I was working for people like her.  What a country, huh?

Then Ms. Pompilus exclaimed that what she does is “not only for Haitian.”  She went on to tout the so called-non profit organization called Action for Better Future, which she claims exists “to help people.”  She’s not running “monkey business.”  She claims that Action for Better Future is “very well known in the Haitian community.”  She’s not a “money seeker.”  She’s a “human being.”  She’s a “professional.”

Then she gave me free publicity.  WOO HOO!  She claims she “got an article from the city blogger.”  WOO HOO!  She claimed I called her “a name and whatever.”  She thinks it’s not fair because two weeks ago she was in North Carolina helping Haitians.  But, of course.

Meanwhile, she handed a copy of my blog to the City Manager and anyone else who happened to walk through the door.  As long as they were Haitian.  But, she definitely does not Play Identity Politics!

Moving right along.

For comic relief, we were treated to yet another Myron Sighting!  As he’s prone to do these days, he introduced himself as “Myron Rosner, former mayor of North Miami Beach.”  Isn’t it amazing that he’s still trying to wring every last drop out of his fifteen minutes of infamy?  Dude still doesn’t get that being the former, kicked out of office anything is not something to be proud of.  In Myron’s case, he was a one-termer.  Again, I wouldn’t be bragging about such an accomplishment.

Myron inched his way up toward the front of the room during the last speaker’s rant, raised his fat little finger so the Clerk would know he was there, rose up on two wheels of his Very Expensive High Tech iBot Taxpayer Funded Wheelchair, and shlepped his package to the podium.  Yeah, I know.  Don’t toss your cookies.

First words out of his mouth were to L’il Frantzie P by stating, “Vice Mayor, you look very comfortable there.”  Really?  I don’t think so.  The little big man looked extremely uncomfortable at the grown up table.  But, I digress.

Myron then did what he does best.  In the same manner he PUBLICLY HUMILIATED former, former City Manager Keven Klopp six years ago, he attempted to get Chris Heid, the Deputy Director of Community Development, fired.  Then he bitched about his being removed from the Agenda for his demanded “re-hearing” before the Code Enforcement Board.  This would be the very meeting where Myron had to be escorted out of the room by not one, but two, police officers, as I reported in Fun with Myron!.  He then kvetched that his rights were violated according to the Citizens’ Bill of Rights.  Myron cried about being denied his rights to be heard.  Myron, Myron, Myron.  STFU and GTFO.

I won’t go into the hilarity that ensued while the Council attempted to pass a resolution prohibiting candidates for City Council from strong arming city vendors and lobbyists (and their relatives) into giving them campaign donations.  Suffice it to say, it did not pass.  As vice mayor, Frantz Pierre tried to run the show.  Epic fail.  If you want to watch, fast forward to 1:23:14 on the video time clock and prepare to be entertained.

But, whatever you do, do not bypass Frantzie’s Moment of Reflection at hour 1:39:57 where he wants to put his “five cents” in.  His childish and vain attempt to play “Mayor” is a riot and totally priceless!  But, the best part of his nearly incomprehensible speech was at hour 1:41:08, when he states, “The problem I’m having with this ordinance is the ‘relatives’ part.  ‘Relatives’ IN MY COUNTRY means a lot.”

STOP RIGHT THERE!  IN FRANTZ PIERRE’S COUNTRY?  What COUNTRY would that be?  Is he talking about America, or is he talking about Haiti again?

Just like his very close friend, Karyne Pompilus, Frantz Pierre excels at Playing Identity Politics.

Hey, Schmucklet.  Just as I had to remind County Commissioner Jean Monestime that THIS IS AMERICA!  NOT HAITI!  In case you forgot, you are a councilman for an AMERICAN city.  What’s with you people?

Frantz then went on to explain that IN HIS COUNTRY, extended families include not only immediate family members, but cousins, in-laws, people they live with, the mailman.  I wonder if that also includes mistresses.  I’m just saying.

Okay, enough fun for now.  Let’s just hope that we never have to see L’il Frantzie P play grown up mayor again.  Once was enough.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”