Sorry to interrupt your evening, but it’s me again.
Actually, I should say, “Myron again.” He’s like the gift that keeps on giving.
As a public service to my fellow North Miami Beach residents, I dug up a website called Public Stuff. If you click here, you will see a list of addresses that were reported to our Code Enforcement Department. The newest is listed first. Thirty six of them were reported on July 10, 2012. One was reported on July 11, 2012 and one on July 12, 2012. There are a few reported last month, but not many.
Since this website doesn’t state who did the actual reporting, or if these “violations” were reported anonymously, I cannot state for sure whether or not our very own, self-appointed Civilian Code Enforcement Officer, FORMER mayor Myron Rosner is the culprit. I’ll let you be the judge.
In fact, as the self-appointed Chief Myron Watcher, I hereby deputize all of you as Deputy Myron Watchers. Does that work for you? Works for me.
The question on everyone’s mind these days is “Why?” Why on earth would a sane human being take it upon himself to drive through every street in North Miami Beach and take notes on who is or who is not in compliance with the city’s Code? Well, the obvious answer, of course, is that we are probably not dealing with a sane human being.
To further analyze the situation, I hypothesize that Myron’s Mission is for the sole purpose of building a defense to the numerous Code Violations on his own property, including those for which he has already been ordered by the Code Enforcement Board to rectify. Of course, I can only guess what goes on in the Mind of Myron because there is absolutely no way for a normal person to even begin to understand how his brain is wired. When it comes to Myron, a mind is a terrible thing.
It does stand to reason, however, that Myron’s intention is to use the Everyone Else Does It defense when his appeal goes to trial. In his own words, he’s got a package. (Yeah, I know…EWWWWW!!!) And, we assume, in that package is the dossier of every single property owner in North Miami Beach who has encroached an easement, even if it’s by a millimeter. Yeah, he’s that vindictive!
Meanwhile, over at Camp Rosner, he has encroached every single easement on all four sides of his property line, filling in nearly every single available square foot with concrete, and leaving almost zero green space. According to Article V of our city Code, structures on properties zoned RS-1, RS-2, RS-3 and RS-4 Residential Single-Family District properties, have a maximum lot coverage of 40%. These four designations are for properties with minimum lot areas of 8,000 square feet down to 5,000 square feet. The smallest properties, zoned RS-5 with a minimum lot area of 1,200 square feet, does not specify maximum lot coverage. For obvious reasons.
According to the Miami-Dade County Tax Assessor’s public records, Myron’s lot is 7,979 square feet, so I will assume his property is not zoned RS-5. This means that structures on his property are restricted to a maximum lot coverage of 40% of his total property. Here’s the aerial view of his home:
It sure looks his structures cover WAAAAAY more than 40% of his property. I’m just saying.
Little wonder Myron’s having so many problems with the Code Enforcement Department in the City of North Miami Beach.
Little wonder that misery loves company.
Which is why he’s after you!
As self-appointed Chief Myron Watcher, I hereby declare Myron Rosner to be in violation of all Human Decency and Good Neighbor Code Standards. I further direct all of you Deputy Myron Watchers to report any and all Myron Sightings to me for adjudication in the Court of Public Opinion.
This should be good for a few laughs, eh?
Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”
