Tomorrow, July 1st, will be 23 years since I’ve lived here in North Miami Beach.  The only major things that have changed are:

(1) The Publix on 15th Avenue that I shopped at is gone;
(2) The Honey Baked Store is gone; and
(3) The four lane street formerly known as NE 164 Street has shrunk to a barely maneuverable two lane Hanford Boulevard.

Oh, and the Sunray area now has sidewalks.  YAY!

Talk about progress.

The only new building, aside from the Police Department, that I actually notice is on the corner of West Dixie Highway and North Miami Beach Boulevard, which is home to a Starbucks, a Federal Express office, and some other stores that go in and out of business on a rotating basis.  The only reason I noticed it at all is because it’s built way too close to the street.

But, I guess that’s progress for ya.

I’m sure there are other buildings or projects that have actually been completed in the last twenty three years, but honestly, I can’t think of them right now.  The Walmart and other new stores at The Mall at 163rd Street don’t count since that property doesn’t actually belong to North Miami Beach.  We get all the traffic, but none of the tax revenue.  Then again, except for Christmas time, there’s actually very little traffic in NMB because there’s no place to go, unless you’re just passing through on your way to Sunny Isles Beach or Aventura.  For all its hype as a “big” city, North Miami Beach is really a sleepy little town.

Well, perhaps “sleepy” isn’t exactly the right adjective.  NMB is more like in a coma.  On life support.  With almost no pulse.

Once the former mayor Jeff “If You Don’t Build It, They Won’t Come” Mishcon decided not to run again after 17 years on the throne, we almost got new development.  Back in 2004, long before the coming housing bubble busted, the city council had approved the construction of a condominium project known as Marina Grande.  This development consisted of two 24 story buildings on either side of the inlet at Maule Lake, located on Biscayne Boulevard and about 171st Street.  An organization called the North Miami Beach Citizens Coalition, Inc., which was formed on February 9, 2004, filed suit against the city to stop the development based on the premise that it exceeded the city’s height and density laws.  The city appealed and lost in 2006.  Years of further negotiating ensued between the city and the NMB Citizens Coalition, and because of the council’s decision to use submerged lands in calculating the density of the project, nothing ever got built.  I recently found out, however, that since there was a settlement between the city and the NMB Citizens Coalition, the city eventually granted the owner the permit to build, and the Coalition was barred from interfering with the project again.  At least, it’s not supposed to.

After the lawsuits were settled, Marina Grande never got off the ground because the developers of the project went bankrupt.  Boca Developers was also responsible for building Biscayne Landings in North Miami, and that project was stalled as well.

While Biscayne Landings is now in the process of being finished, with millions of dollars pouring into North Miami as we speak, the Maule Lake property is a vacant eyesore, and there is no indication that we will be seeing construction start up any time soon.  While it certainly appears that the city council is dithering on whether or not to approve the project, the truth is much more complicated than that.  First, there is the issue of whether or not the owners of the property have kept up with the terms of its permit and PUD status.  The North Miami Beach Building Department says they have, but City Attorney Darcee Siegel claims that the owners have let the permit lapse.  The hapless city council is stuck in the middle, watching a virtual tennis match between the two, with various interested parties, i.e., the owners, their lawyers, a lawyer consultant hired by Darcee, etc., weighing in on the sidelines.

Adding to the mess are groups of residents who are also voicing their opinions, both pro and con.  Personally, I have no opinion, as I’ve lost the ability to give a crap any more.  At this point, I am amazed that any developer even wants to build anything in this city.  At all.  Ever.  If I were a developer, I’d bypass North Miami Beach as fast as the speed limit would allow me to drive through town on my way anywhere else.  Who in their right mind would want to deal with this crap?

In the Miami Herald’s South Florida Home section today, an article entitled ‘Record-breaking’ sales highlight Aventura Isles’ VIP Sales Event tells how this new development in Aventura Isles raked in “28 million dollars in sales with more reservations coming in at a record breaking pace.”

Must be nice.  Makes you wonder how Aventura manages to approve all kinds of new residential and commercial projects, much less get them all built and sold, without having wait years for lawsuits to be filed and settled.  Somehow, Sunny Isles Beach doesn’t seem to have those problems, either.  Hmmm.  How’d they do that?

In the 23 years that I have lived in North Miami Beach, I have seen absolutely no progress whatsoever.  A childhood friend of mine, who moved to north Florida over thirty years ago, recently came for a visit.  She was amazed at how Aventura, Sunny Isles Beach and North Miami are all flourishing while North Miami Beach is stuck in a time warp.  Other than a couple of minor changes, as I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, NMB looks exactly the same as it did when she escaped South Florida.

I have no doubt that North Miami Beach was an ideal place to live in the 1950s, when most of the construction was new and families were moving here in droves.  It was still presentable throughout the 1960s and much of the 1970s, but by the 1980s our city started looking shabby and timeworn.  It really started decaying in the 1990s, and it never even entered the 21st century.  We truly are stuck in a time warp.

Yeah, I get that some people have issues with high rises.  They’re nostalgic for the days when much of South Florida was one big bedroom community disguised as a tropical paradise.  I also love seeing pictures of Old Miami even before the roads were paved.  But I’ve accepted the fact that those days are gone.  I also kinda got used to indoor plumbing, so I really have no desire to go back to the middle ages.  We’ll always have those pictures, especially now that they’re digitized.  But the truth is, whether we like it or not, new development is the only way to keep a municipality viable.  And, unfortunately, with the high cost of real estate and the taxes assessed on developed property, high density buildings are really the only income generators for owners, developers and cities.  Of course, you need proper planning and responsible managing of the revenue, but as former mayor Jeffrey Mischon always used to say, “If you don’t build it, they won’t come.”  What he failed to recognize was that “If they don’t come, everyone else is stuck in a shithole.”

And, face it, folks.  Other than the nice areas of Eastern Shores, Sky Lake and a few small sections in other areas, North Miami Beach is one big shithole.  If you think otherwise, you’re kidding yourself.  Trust me.  It sucks over here on this side of the tracks.

I have no illusions that Marina Grande, if it’s ever built, will be the answer to the all, or any, of our problems.  At this point, many residents are clamoring for something, anything, to be built here so we can start bringing in some much needed revenue.  Other projects that have come before the city over the years have either been shot down by city councils, stopped by lawsuits, or the developers just got sick and tired of dealing with the bureaucracy and left town.  There is almost no doubt in my mind that we will never see any cranes at the Maule Lake site again.  At least not in the foreseeable future.  Chances are I’ll be long gone before anything gets built there.

Recently, North Miami Councilman Scott Galvin sent out his newsletter to his constituents (and me, ‘cuz I’m a yenta), asking them for ideas on how to allocate the expected windfall of $17.5 million from the Biscayne Landings deal.  He made some of his own suggestions, which included:

• Police Salaries and Equipment – We’ve been stalled in negotiations with our Police Union for years.  It’s time to end that.  Let’s provide for the men and women who protect us.
• Library Upgrades and Expansion – It was in our original Biscayne Landing plans to expand the Library.  Now’s the time to add WiFi and other program material.  Perhaps a place for refreshments, like coffee and danish.  And I’d love to see an annex for a Historical Museum and record-keeping.
• Parks – Let’s expedite the construction of the new Gribble Pool and Community Park at Biscayne Landing.  And how about neighborhood “pocket parks” in small lots throughout the city?!
• Housing – Despite our current troubles, I still have faith in the mission our Housing Offices are supposed to accomplish.  We should look at purchasing and rehabbing foreclosed and abandoned properties, then sell them to needy families.
• Technology – I suggest we re-do the entire sound system in Council Chambers.  We’re all tired of barely hearing things when we watch on Cable TV.  And we should also set things up to live-stream the meeting broadcasts on our website.
• Arts and Education – Funding the expansion of MoCA should be considered.  As should programs that might better educate the children of North Miami.

I wrote him back with my suggestion:  “You should set aside about $50K for the Stephanie Kienzle Relocation Fund.”

I was only half kidding.

Mr. Galvin knows I was joking about asking North Miami for a handout.  But I was dead serious about getting the hell out of dodge.  Unless a miracle happens in North Miami Beach before the real estate market turns around, the last thing I’ll see around these here parts will be NMB in my rearview mirror.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”