I’ve been known on occasion to kvetch about the state of North Miami Beach, especially as compared to its neighbors, Aventura, North Miami and Sunny Isles Beach.  The bottom line is that we don’t compare.  Not even to North Miami, which has been showing remarkable progress in terms of growth in new businesses and development, despite its thoroughly corrupt government.  Go figure.

Sunny Isles Beach incorporated in 1997 and just recently celebrated its 15 year anniversary with a festival with free food, fun and games for all residents.  The Miami Herald has a whole spread on it in.  There is no link to the adjoining story, New 4-acre park in the works, but I scanned it.  Please click the links.

HERALD ARTICLE 06-21-12

In addition to the party, the city’s council just voted to approve the construction of a $16.5 million park and garage.  This will be the city’s tenth park.

Yes, you heard right.  A city that is roughly one fifth the size of North Miami Beach, with half the population, boasts nine parks, including several on the water.  Must be nice.

According to its website, you can easily find the page and read all about Sunny Isles Beach’s ten parks by clicking on the left side of its homepage under “Park Locations.” A quick click on any of the park names will pull up a description of that park, including its amenities.

This newest park, according to the Miami Herald, will include “[a] butterfly garden, a performance stage and a children’s splash pad.”  Visitors will be able to park in a “three-story parking garage” and exit through a “European-style plaza with tree-lined alleys.”  In addition to that, “[a] waterfall will line the northwest side of the park.  The mist coming from the cascading water is meant to cool a seating area nearby and lessen the noise from traffic.”  “The butterfly garden will be made up of Milkweed, Lantana, Firespike, Jamaican Dogwood and other plants that either by their color or nectar attract birds and butterflies.”  OMIGOD!  Does that sound like paradise or what?

While North Miami Beach claims to have 23 parks throughout the city, a list of which you can easily find by going to its website and clicking, er, um, hmmmm.  Let’s see… Let’s try clicking “Site Map” on the left.  Scroll down to Leisure Services…if I can find it.  Oh, yeah, here it is – the sixth item under “Departments.”  Let’s click.  Hmmmm.  Scroll down, look around.  Oh, wait!  There it is on the right hand side – “Guide to Parks.”  FOUND YAZ!

Of those 23 parks, nine are designated as Passive Parks, or Open Green Space.  According to dictionary.com, green space is defined as “a plot of undeveloped land separating or surrounding areas of intensive residential or industrial use that is maintained for recreational enjoyment.”  What that means in NMB terms is that the city had a small strip, square, or triangle of land which it had no idea what to do with, so they slapped down some sod, sat a park bench on it…or not…made up a name, posted one of those cute little “park” signs, and VOILA!  A Park!  It may be called a “Passive Park” or an “Open Green Space,” but, it’s a park nevertheless.

Looking at the list, I have to confess that I had no idea that the grass on Edna Moffat Boulevard, also known as NE 171 Street between NE 15th and 19th Avenues, was an actual park.  And here all these years I thought it was just a median dividing the two lanes of traffic.  Silly me.

Sadly, none of the other non-Passive Parks in North Miami Beach parks have butterfly gardens.  We’re lucky they have bathrooms.  Well, except for the ball field at Uleta Park.  But the grass is sometimes mowed.  So who am I to complain?

Moving right along…

The ironic thing is that the land on which Sunny Isles Beach now sits used to belong to North Miami Beach, hence the word “Beach” in our name.  Sometime during the 1950s…I think…a sitting City Council literally gave away our beachfront property.  I don’t know exactly when, or even why this happened since I’m hard pressed to find any actual history about NMB’s Great Land Giveaway/Folly.  Needless to say, this wasn’t the brightest, or the last, stupid decision made by our elected leaders.  No wonder people have such little faith in the government any more.

In any event, North Miami Beach has no beach.  It also has no money to celebrate whenever its anniversary might be, much less build a park with a butterfly garden.  So, yeah, there is no doubt in our minds we are not Sunny Isles Beach.

Luckily, you can learn all about the history of North Miami Beach on its website by clicking “About NMB”, and then clicking where it says, “Learn more about our History”.  According to the page entitled “Our History,” NMB used to be called Fulford, but “[i]n 1931, the state legislature authorized a new charter for the city. Beachfront property was annexed and the name of the municipality was changed from Fulford to North Miami Beach to reflect the 1931 boundaries and to take advantage of the nationwide advertising associated with the Miami Beach area in an effort to capitalize on that city’s growing fame. At that time there were about three miles of beach property from Sunny Isles south that were in the incorporated area, so it was a legitimate name.”

The website continues with brief snippets of our city’s history, including the building of Greynold’s Park, the purchase of a water plant, and the re-assembling of the Ancient Spanish Monastery.  Further down, the website mentions our city’s progression from the 1950s through the present, without ever mentioning when, how or why we lost our beachfront property.  I take it that the City of North Miami Beach would rather not dwell on the apparent fact that we no longer have a legitimate name.

Moving right along…

According to “Our History,” much of our city’s growth and development basically came to a standstill by the end of the 1970s.  With the exception of expansions to City Hall, the library, and the building of a brand new building for our Police Department (all government structures, all funded by public money), there isn’t much to brag about in terms of private development or the attraction of new businesses.

Under the heading, “The 80’s” (which is grammatically incorrect, I might add – there should be no apostrophe), the website states, “The 1980’s were typical of the growth and development from the prior years. The city expanded its parks, beautification was intensified, and in 1984, a new addition was added on to the existing city hall complex.  Over the next five years, there were impressive gains in new construction, commercial renovations, new business development, retail sales, beautification, and more. These strides are the result of a city council dedicated to the future health of its business community. The city council has expanded beyond the traditional city role with a program of policies and services designed to encourage real estate and business.”

Um, yeah, sure.  I’ve been here since 1989, and I have yet to see any “impressive gains in new construction” or anything of the sort.  What the website fails to mention, for obvious reasons, is that former mayor Jeffrey Mishcon was elected in 1988 and sat on that dais for the next 17 years bragging that, “If you don’t build it, they won’t come.”

He was right.  He didn’t build it and they didn’t come.

Jeff Mishcon was responsible for building Mishcon Park (yeah, that’s where the name came from), our city’s only really nice park.  They do mow the grass there.

The only other real “project” that Jeff Mischon was responsible for was the “development” of Hanford Boulevard, a/k/a NE 164 Street.  You know, the two lane street that was formerly a four lane thoroughfare which you could easily drive down without having to wait for cars backing out of those ridiculous diagonal parking spaces that replaced normal parallel parking spaces?  That would be the Hanford Boulevard that Mishcon envisioned as a tree lined, pedestrian friendly street, replete with outdoor cafes and strolling minstrels.  Only one problem.  There are almost no quaint storefronts along Hanford Boulevard to make Jeff’s Main Street Dreams come true.  In other words, it sucks.

The street is now a nightmare for people trying to attend Church on Sundays at Fulford United Methodist, or looking for a parking space to shop at some of the stores still located on Hanford.  What was it I said about stupid decisions by elected officials?

Rhetorical question.

In any event, I hear rumors that Jeffrey Mishcon is thinking about running for City Council next year.  Like another useless former NMB mayor, Myron Rosner, he wants another bite of the apple.  Only, in Jeff’s case, his seventeen years of doing nothing on the dais has resulted in many far reaching consequences that we’re still suffering today, not the least of which was his refusal to bring North Miami Beach into the 20th century during his tenure.  Our city should have been computerized a decade earlier like every other city around us, which is why we’re lagging behind in technology.  There are public records at City Hall that are STILL not digitized and sitting in boxes somewhere because Jeff didn’t have the foresight to progress with the times.

Because Jeff Mishcon liked development as much as he liked technology, we had almost no economic growth while he was mayor.  In fact, he managed to spend our tax dollars as fast, and maybe even faster than they came in.  Jeff Mishcon did enough damage to North Miami Beach.  We certainly do not need an encore.  And I certainly don’t have the time or space to spill all the dirt in this column today.  Suffice it to say, I hope Jeffrey Mischon thinks long and hard before he decides to throw his hat in the ring.  I’m just saying.

So, here we sit not only in the shadow of both Aventura AND Sunny Isles Beach, but we also get to watch North Miami pass us by on the highway of progress.  All three of our neighbors are leaving us in the dust while we desperately try to play catch up.  The current City Council can look back and thank their predecessors for their lack of foresight and fiscal responsibility, while they partied hard on our dime.  They left us with so many nearly insurmountable problems, it seems impossible we’ll overcome them.

Sadly, the current council can’t blame Bush.

But they can point the finger at Jeffrey Mishcon and his crony, good old boy network for kicking the can down the road.

And we don’t even get a butterfly garden.  Just a Field of Nightmares.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”