The Frantz Files

My favorite television show of all time was The X-Files. For the entire nine year season I watched that show religiously every week, and I made sure I recorded it if I was going to be out. Those where the days of those unwieldy videotapes and confusing VCR remote controls that you almost needed a degree in engineering to use. It was not easy to be a loyal fan. The tag line of the show was “The Truth is Out There!”

The Truth that Agents Mulder and Scully sought was proof of the existence of alien beings and other strange phenomena, and a conspiratorial government coverup. They went up against shadowy government officials with ties to a secret organization. Their search took them to some pretty strange places, always coming close to the answers, but never fully realizing the Truth.

Here in North Miami Beach, we have our own shadowy (and shady) government figure by the name of Frantz Pierre, a/k/a L’il Frantzie P, a/k/a Phrantz Pee-Air. Yeah, okay, so I made up his aliases, but I figure he might need an alias or two one day. I’m just giving him some suggestions.

The longer Mr. Pee-Air remains in office, the more bizarre his behavior becomes. He started out as a mild mannered teacher in a local elementary school before he was plucked out of obscurity to unseat a former North Miami Beach councilman. There are many stories about why this particular putz was the chosen pawn, all seemingly stranger than the next. But one thing is clear – Frantz Pierre was deemed to be controllable. Like the secret organization in the X-Files, no one really knows who’s pulling Frantzie’s strings, but I’m betting they got more than they bargained for. From the minute he took office, Frantz became a legend in his own mind. For example, the night of his installation at City Hall, he invited a slew of people to the “party” on the city’s dime. Some of his guests wandered downstairs to the meeting room where the Little League was holding its annual awards banquet and party. Pee-Air’s Peeps waltzed right into the private party and helped themselves to the buffet. When Little League officials told them they were eating food that belongs to the folks who paid for it, Pierre’s friends took offense, became extremely rude and stalked off. Plate in hand! I know this happened. I was there.

That night was the start of a trend. Frantz Pierre apparently believes that just because he’s a small time councilman in a small time city, that he is a Very Important Person. He struts around town like some high roller who just flew into Vegas, and actually thinks he’s entitled to stuff. Lots of stuff. Like the “free” food for his party guests, Frantz expects “free” everything else. Like out of town trips to attend soccer coach conventions. Like jobs for his friends. Rumor also has it that he tries to get “free” after school care for his kids, too! All on our dime!

Frantz also believes he’s entitled to make up shit when it suits him. Last August, when budget season started, rumor had it that Pee-Air didn’t like the fact that two of his friends might be laid off, so he created a whole fantasy about their supervisor, Jean Pompee, by claiming that Mr. Pompee was going to plant drugs in his office “in order to get Pierre fired,” according to a September 28, 2011 North Miami Beach Police Department Internal Affairs Investigation Report. This report also describes testimony given by Pierre and seven city employees. I can only imagine how much money and time went into this investigation initiated by Frantz Pierre, but upon reading this report The Truth was definitely Out There. Frantzie’s Friends potentially losing their jobs was only a ruse. What L’il Frantzie P was really pissed off about was that Jean Pompee told him he was going to support his good friend Ketley Joachim in her bid for Frantzie’s seat when he ran again. The nerve of Mr. Pompee for not helping Frantz! Seeing as how Mr. Pee-Air is a Very Important Person, he fully expected Jean Pompee to shill for him on his radio show, and he must have been absolutely furious to hear otherwise. Picture in your mind: Clipboard. Banging on desk. Hard. (Okay, now laugh.)

Here are a few great lines from the Internal Affairs Report:

“Employees with access to the Council offices stated they do not have access to Pierre’s office.”

“Neither could corroborate the allegation that Pompee stated he would plant contraband in Pierre’s office.”

“Pompee stated that he does not have access to Pierre’s office either.”

“The allegations that Pompee made threats to plant unknown contraband could not be corroborated.”

“There were inconsistencies in Mr. Pierre’s statements to [Detectives].” (My personal favorite.)

The investigators also determined that Mr. Pompee’s First Amendment Rights allowed him to use his radio station to support any candidate of his choice. It was also uncovered that the one employee who supported Pierre’s story just HAPPENED to be “a very close personal friend of Pierre.”

But the most interesting thing uncovered by this investigation, which I’m sure Frantzie was dismayed saw the light of day, is the FACT that he accused Leisure Services Director Paulette Murphy of being “in ‘cahoots’ with Pompee” to fire Frantzie’s friend and “try to get rid of Pierre.”

HOW FREAKING PARANOID IS THAT? Yeah, Frantzie! You’re just so damn important that the whole world is out to get YOU! Seriously, dude. You are deluded. Freaking certifiable if you ask me.

But the real icing on the cake is that Pierre tried to throw his, um, weight around as the “Liaison to the Leisure Services Dept.” and complained to someone in the department via a memo that some of its employees “have not been doing the right thing.” According to the report, “Pierre stated that he wanted to make things right in the department.”

Oh, really? Since when are councilmen supposed to interfere with employees? SINCE NEVER! HELLOOOOO??? This type of interference is a HUGE NO NO! It’s in our city’s Charter for crying out loud! You know, Frantz. The Charter that you’re SUPPOSED to uphold. Or at least read. You should try it some time.

In the end the NMBPD determined that that, “Due to insufficient and/or credible evidence, the allegations against Mr. Jean Pompee regarding threats to do harm and/or plant contraband in Councilman Pierre’s office is deemed: INCONCLUSIVE.

Filing a false report is nothing new to Frantz Pierre. During the election he filed for a restraining order against his opponent, Ketley Joachim, claiming he was in fear for his life. This turned out to be merely an attempt to make it impossible for her to attend candidate forums so he’d be the only one showing up for his race. He eventually withdrew his complaint. Apparently Ms. Joachim wasn’t that big a threat after all.

Then there was that whole Pierre vs. Water Meter Reader incident last week, which raised the questions of whether or not Frantz is violating the city building code or whether or not his alleged housemates are violating voter registration laws.

The interesting thing about that is one of his peeps, Marie Eleazard, who claimed Pierre’s address as her own for the purpose of voting in North Miami Beach, also happens to be the Registered Agent and President/Director of a non-profit corporation by the name of Center for Family Empowerment, Inc. Public records show that as of February 4, 2011, a scant three months before last May’s election, Ms. Eleazard’s address was 1480 NW 144 Avenue. In PEMBROKE PINES! I guess no one informed Ms. Eleazard that one has to actually live in North Miami Beach to be able to vote in North Miami Beach. Florida law states that “You must be registered for at least 29 days before you can vote in an election.” I wonder if she moved from Pembroke Pines to Frantzie’s house between February 4, 2011 and April 4, 2011, or 29 days before the May 3, 2011 election, just in time to register to vote for Pee-Air. It’s not impossible, but it will be even more interesting to see what address she uses when it’s time to file her corporation’s annual report next year. I’m just saying.

Bottom line is that as a council member of the City of North Miami Beach, Frantz Pierre is an embarrassment. He is now involved in three incidents involving the police, and he is possibly in violation of the code of the city for which he serves. Despite how tarnished his council seat is, he still keeps strutting around the city, posturing and preening like he’s the Cock of the Walk.