Buh-Bye, 2011!
Two thousand eleven started out pretty much the same way two thousand ten ended. Myron Rosner was still occupying the mayor’s seat and his Pretend Happy Holidays But Really Pre-Campaign Season Campaign Bus Benches were still up, despite the fact that the Real Happy Holidays were but a memory. By the end of January, Myron managed to put up at least one GIGANTIC sign just over the border in North Miami, bypassing our own city’s campaign ordinances, which prohibits signage before February 1st. In fact, I’m told he threatened City Attorney Darcee Siegel that he’d put up his NMB signs before the official start date, stating that by the time she notifies him of a violation and forces him to take them down, it’ll be too late to do so. What a guy, huh?
Little did Myron know that our “secret weapon” was a loosely banded coalition of residents from all over the city working together on a strategically brilliant campaign to elect his challenger, George Vallejo as Mayor. Many of these residents had never agreed on anything before. In fact, some of them pretty much hated each other. They were, however, able to put their personal differences aside because they despised Myron even more. Talk about a grassroots effort! We all swallowed our pride and put forth our best efforts to oust the worst mayor in the history of the City of North Miami Beach. Despite the onslaught of Myron’s personal attacks on residents and his massive sign campaign, that we prevailed was no small feat.
By mid-March, the residents had no respite from the profusion of butt ugly Myron signs. Pleas to the City Attorney and Code Enforcement fell on deaf ears. I did, however, have way too much fun promoting my Street Furniture NMB Exhibit for comic relief (https://www.votersopinion.com/
Myron wasn’t the only candidate who behaved badly during campaign season. Let’s not forget the shenanigans of one councilman Frantz Pierre, who tried to do away with his challenger, Ketley Joachim, by filing a restraining order against her. Then there was the “No, You Take Him!” battle between Frantzie and Philippe Derose, when candidate Michael Casey switched seats at the last minute and they had a judge decide who Michael got to run against. These were not NMB’s finest campaign moments.
What can I say about Election Night 2011? It was probably the most personally gratifying moment other than childbirth. And a lot less painful. As the votes were being counted, and it became quite apparent that George was going to win, the crowd became more and more exuberant. I was so beyond excited, I couldn’t stop screaming for joy. As I turned toward the back of the room where Myron was hiding among a small group of paid “supporters,” I saw him sneak out before the last few precincts were counted. Yeah, like I said, it was personally gratifying. Not only did Myron lose, but he lost big time. Gotta love when a schmuck gets his just desserts. I’m just saying.
Two thousand eleven also brought us more unique Phyllisisms from our favorite bloviator since Myron was gone. Her best performance was during the Musical Chairs Event when councilwoman Phyllis Smith demanded to sit next to the Mayor. As I wrote in a blog entitled Dictators, Wizards and Cow Horns! Oh, My!:
Phyllis insisted, yet again, that the city has had a “standing seating policy” (Huh?) since Mayor Mishcon, and that if the council is changing policy it needs to be voted on. She stated emphatically, “I have absolutely no problem with whatever is the will of the council.” But, by Job, she’s gonna force them to do her will! She claimed she wants to take “favoritism, emotion and politics out of where you sit.” She went on (and on) to state that “the seniority policy has been in place for 25 years” and was “absolutely verified” at the last pre-council meeting when Beth stated she was told to sit at the end, Frantz was told to move up a seat but declined, and Derose said, “No way, take me out in handcuffs I earned this seat.” Ten to one says that Derose never used the word “handcuffs.” Another classic Phyllisism, I’m sure.
Yep, that was classic!
Of course, at any given council meeting, we could always count on hearing the old standbys, such as:
1. From Day One
2. In This Chair
3. In My Chair
4. From My Chair
5. Under My Chair
Phyllis “From Day One” Smith dubbed the newly appointed interim Chief of Police “Chief Day One.” Plus, the various incarnations of Phyllis’ Chair spawned the ever popular “Phyllis Smith Drinking Game,” every time you hear Phyllis run off at the mouth, down a shot (or pop an M&M) and hold up this sign:
Phyllis was also the raison d’etre for The First Annual Street Furniture Exhibit featuring the Phyllis Smith Couture Collection!
Lovely, isn’t it? Gorgeous. Just gorgeous.
The Year In Review wouldn’t be complete without giving a shout out to my good buddies at the North Miami Beach Police Department. For months now, their shenanigans have been covered ad nauseam in the Miami Herald, the television news media, and this website. It’s nearly impossible to list all their faux pas here. From storming City Hall during budget and council meetings, to knocking on doors all over town, the cops were following the direction of their UNION “leader” Mike Pons to drum up support against cutting even one penny from the police department’s budget. The cops were told to make it perfectly clear to the residents that the 24 (eventually whittled down to 17) police jobs on the line were the fault of the City Manager, and not the UNION’S. Except for the one tiny detail they liked to leave out, which was the department could make the cuts anywhere they wanted, and they CHOSE layoffs instead of making cuts in other areas. The cops actually believed that the UNION was working in their best interests, when the truth is the UNION would rather throw members under the bus than negotiate in good faith. Even the city’s labor attorney threw his hands up after attempting to have a rational discussion with the UNION lawyer, who decided it was his right to tell the city that the budget shortfall was a “manufactured crisis,” and then proceeded to tell the city manager how to balance the city’s budget. WTF?
The fact that the city manager won that battle was completely lost on the still belligerent cops who still resort to threatening residents with slow downs and then blame “slower response time” on the layoffs. To this day, they continue to be antagonistic to certain citizens, including yours truly, and the simply refuse to deal with reality.
Meanwhile, the City of North Miami Beach continues to be plagued with one scandal after another involving Cops Behaving Badly. Aside from a couple of shooting deaths by cops, which I believe are still under investigation, and the aforementioned rudeness toward city officials and residents, some of the more Embarrassing Moments in NMBPD History include:
1. One cop was fired for making threats against civilians using a police computer. Not his finest…or brightest…moment.
2. A detective was fired for allegedly forging evidence in a murder trial, after sleeping with the wife of the suspect he arrested. The prosecutors were forced to drop the charges. According to an NBC Miami report during the trial (http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/
3. We also have the now world famous case of the Birdseed Hex, where a cop was fired for allegedly lying while being questioned during an investigation of her role in attempting to use a Santeria curse on the city manager. She admitted she’s not a practitioner of the ancient Afro-Cuban religion, but figured what-the-hell-it’s-worth-a-try. Guess she figured wrong. This veteran cop, who had an unblemished record until she hatched the bird brained scheme, also brought down the department’s office manager, who was also fired because she didn’t have the dubious luxury of being a UNION member. The pair also attempted to convince a city janitor to spread the Magic Seeds around the manager’s office since she had access to his room. Luckily, the janitor extricated herself from the plot by reporting the suspicious activity to her supervisor.
On top of these fiascoes, the cops continue to show how “witty” they are by commenting on Miami Herald articles by using juvenile attempts at humor. When I’m bored, I’ll occasionally spar with them for sport, but that gets old rather quickly. I’m then reminded how grateful I am that I had the prescience and wherewithal to send my kids to college, and even more importantly, that they were motivated and intelligent enough to get in to good schools, graduate and have successful careers. I shudder when I think that but for the Grace of God, and my insistence on good grammar and spelling, my children could have ended up posting stupid stuff on LEOAffairs.com in their spare time. I’m just saying.
Of course, just because we’ve had our share of lunacy in North Miami Beach, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t some things to be happy and hopeful about.
For starters, we don’t have to look at Myron’s face on bus benches. Or anywhere else for that matter.
For another thing, back in March the council hired Lyndon Bonner as the City Manager. I can’t even begin to sing his praises enough. He is doing EXACTLY what he was hired to do, and that was to right this city’s finances for once and for all. The fact that the employees (namely the cops) are attacking him and the residents are thrilled with him, means he’s doing something right. In my book, he’s doing everything right! Mr. Bonner is hereby awarded the 2011 Balls of Steel Award from the Gadfly. You go, Mr. Bonner. Take no prisoners!
Another awesome thing that happened here is that the residents rejected Myron Rosner and elected George Vallejo as Mayor of North Miami Beach. We could not have made a better choice to lead our city into the future. The fact that Mayor Vallejo is the favorite target of ad hominem attacks by the police UNION and its members only validates that he was the right man for the job. Damn! We did good!
Completing the picture, and our solidifying our good fortune, is the fact that we have three amazing Council members in Beth Spiegel, Barbara Kramer and Marlen Martell, who are all standing strong and resilient in the fact of threats and attacks by the cop UNION. These three women are serving the residents of North Miami Beach instead of caving in to the relentless and unrealistic demands of the UNION, whose members don’t even live in our city. As trustees and stewards of our tax dollars, they spend wisely and govern responsibly.
Yeah, we have much to be grateful for as we finally come to the close of a difficult year. During the holidays, please keep in mind some unsolicited safety tips: Don’t leave candles unattended. Don’t drink and drive. And, no matter what, don’t speed in North Miami Beach. Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
I want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Chanukah, and a happy and healthy New Year.
Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”
I wonder why Rosner isn’t wishing everyone “Happy Holidays” this year?
He’s been too busy rummaging through documents at City Hall in an attempt to get evidence against his enemies. Somebody has way too much time on his hands.