If you are under the mistaken impression that all police officers are professional, courteous, adult human beings, just hop on over to the website known as LEOAFFAIRS.COM (a/k/a Cops Tot Lot), and check out the forums of the North Miami Beach edition  (http://forums.leoaffairs.com/viewforum.php?f=353&sid=378223a977b3d8df8acfa8b3fcca351a).  If you scroll down to the Topics, you’ll see several different message threads so the cops can cast their pearls of wisdom to the rest of the brain trust who also participate. 

These bards make up their own topics, and let me tell you they can be oh, so creative.  For example, one topic is called “Staph Kienzle,” obviously meant to be a clever play on my name.  It would be clever if you happened to be in the seventh grade and think fart jokes are the epitome of humor…along with “that’s so funny I forgot to laugh, ha ha ha.”

It took me a while, but I eventually got it why some of these guys can’t understand how I could support the police department but despise their union.  Let’s put it this way.  If you have to explain how calling me “Staph Kienzle” is a crude attempt at even juvenile humor, obviously critical thinking is not their forte.  Whatever.

Fart jokes are one thing, but attempts to intimidate and threaten a civilian are another.  On the thread entitled “Miami Gardens Takeover” (http://forums.leoaffairs.com/viewtopic.php?f=353&t=119673), some cop calling himself “nmbleo44” wrote about my husband, “Look how when Carmen got a ticket, he went crying like a little biatchhh to the Chief.”  Very nice.  Despite my advice to my husband to just ignore the children and stay out of their playground, he responded to Mr. nmbleo44 by replying, “Maybe instead of throwing insults at me you can tell the residents how to solve the pension problem, or maybe even how to get rid of officers that have an attitude such as yours.”

OMIGOD, Carmen!  Them’s fightin’ words!  Or so you would think.  Then again, to the feeble minded, any response, no matter how civil, will get their backs up.  But, as expected, Carmen’s comments elicited not only the expected childish response, but a threat as well.

“Guest” wrote back, “please dont speed in North Miami Beach…..safety 1st. Driving after drinking at home is not allowed in NMB. Cannabis smoking in the privacy of your home is illegal in NMB. Thanks for reading and plz follow the rules.”

A cop calling himself “NMB Old Timer” also weighed in by writing, “Better lay off that liquor, especially when you go to City Hall. You might have one of the officers who isnt getting a pink slip, doing a DUI checkpoint near the Government Center. You were hammered at the Budget Hearing last week. It’s understandable with the wife you have, but just do it in moderation, and not while driving. “

So, let’s see here.  One cop accuses my husband of drinking and smoking pot, while another threatens that he’ll set up a DUI checkpoint, insinuating it would be just for Carmen.  He also accuses my husband of being “hammered,” and then insults me.  Niiiice!

The ironic thing is that neither my husband nor I drink alcohol.  In fact, I haven’t had a drink of “liquor” or any other alcoholic beverage since 1985 and my husband since 1987.  That’s longer than some of these babies with badges have been alive.  As for some cop who refers to himself as NMB Old Timer, you’d think he’s been around long enough to figure out if someone were actually “hammered” or not.  Perhaps he’s one of the ones who have been around a little too long and should probably hang it up already.  I’m just saying.

Despite the fact that I’ve been told by a few of the intelligent members of the police department that the handful of idiots who play in the LeoAffairs sandlot are the few jerks that give the department a really bad name, I find it hard to believe that these guys can’t be kept in line.  Then again, if the department allows someone like SAAAARgent Nelson Reyes to flash his Mel Gibson Eyes and intimidate residents by claiming that off duty behavior doesn’t reflect badly on the entire department, then I’d say they have a real public relations problem.  In fact, Reyes himself tried to add insult to injury by posting a comment in this very blog by writing, ” Mrs. Kienzle, I applaud you on your attempt, albeit futile,to register a complaint on me for the exercising of my first ammendment right in a public forum, while in an off-duty capacity.”  If that is not the behavior of an unruly brat, I don’t know what is.  It’s as if he’s got his thumbs in his ears, wiggling his fingers and sticking his tongue out at me.

Gee, Nelson.  You win.  Now pick up your toys and go to your room.

The website LEOAFFAIRS.COM calls itself “The Voice Of Law Enforcement Online.”  Wow!  If the NMB cops who participate in the forum of this website are The Voice of North Miami Beach Law Enforcement Online, we have a serious problem.  The lack of maturity displayed by these cops, not to mention their proclivity to make false accusations and threats, shows that they are incapable of respecting anyone.  Instead of “Protect and Serve” their motto should be “Rudeness R Us.”

Section 3.6.6 of the Department’s Rules and Regulations states that, “Conduct unbecoming a member” includes “any act or conduct not specifically mentioned in these Rules and Regulations which tends to bring the Department into disrepute, or reflects discredit upon the individual member.”  I contend that regardless of whether or not an officer is technically on duty or off duty, any behavior as displayed by the members on the LEOAFFAIRS website, or the recent vicious verbal attack on me by Sergeant Reyes, is definitely conduct most unbecoming a police officer.

By law, cops are permitted to carry and display their firearms twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.  With that privilege comes the responsibility to behave professionally 24/7.  If cops don’t have to take off their guns, they have to keep their cop hats on, too.  If they want to act like unruly children they should have their temper tantrums in the “privacy of their own homes.”

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”