I understand there’s a new drinking game in town called, “From My Seat.”  The rules are very simple.  Every time North Miami Beach councilwoman Phyllis Smith says, “from my seat,” you’re supposed to take a shot.  Apparently, that’s become Phyllis’ trademark phrase, along with the variation, “in my seat.”  No matter what she says, and we all know she says a lot, she typically ends her comment with “from my seat.”  She also manages to intersperse “from my seat” within a sentence – sometimes in the beginning, sometimes in the middle.  Sometimes you can’t tell whether it’s the beginning, middle or the end, what with all her run-on sentences and continuous chatter.  You just know you’re gonna hear “from my seat” a few dozen or so times at any given council meeting or, lately, budget workshops.

If you participate in this drinking game, you’re guaranteed to be totally smashed by the end of any given meeting.  I don’t play the game.  Not because I’m not a drinker, but mainly because I really can’t listen to Phyllis for any considerable stretch of time or my head starts to explode.  I can only take Phyllis in very small doses, which is best done by watching the meetings from the video archives on the city’s website where I can pause Phyllis at will.  Too bad we can’t pause her in real life.  Wow!  That would be something, huh?

Now that the city is embroiled in a very contentious budget battle, with residents and employees alike all up in arms over potential firings and reduction of services, it’s even more astounding that we wasted an entire month dealing with Phyllis’ desire for center stage.  I shouldn’t complain, though, because the saga of the chair provided material for some of my funniest blogs.  Frankly, I much prefer writing about the council clowns than all this serious budget stuff going on.  Most of you probably prefer it, too.  Truth be told, I’d rather make people laugh than make them angry.  And, it sure seems like the whole city is angry right now.

I don’t know how this will all play out or how it will end, but I’m betting that as soon as the budget crisis is over, Phyllis will try to bring up yet another seating resolution.  It must be driving her absolutely crazy not to be the center of attention, or the dais.  And then we’ll all have something to laugh about again!

In the meantime, she’ll have to spout her hilarious Phyllisisms from stage left.  I’ll be here to chronicle the pearls of wisdom she utters “from her seat.”

If you choose to participate in the “From My Seat” drinking game, please make sure you bring a designated driver.

Stephanie Kienzle
“Spreading the Wealth”